


talk too much

by kingofembers



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor and Zoe are good siblings, Connor is v touchy feel-y, Connor really likes Evan and Evan doesn't know what to do, F/F, Gen, Jared and Connor are both meme and cryptid enthusiasts, M/M, The first chapters are really happy and soft and goofy, connor is obvious and evan is oblivious, heidi is everyones mom, larryis a douchebag but a a douchebag with reasons, the later chapters are going to be incredibly sad and all of you are going to hate me, this will end happy swear, zoe loves her girlfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-06 02:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11026965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofembers/pseuds/kingofembers
Summary: jaredyoureamoose:hey hey hey, guess whatjaredyoureamoose:now that all of usjaredyoureamoose:are like friends or whateverjaredyoureamoose:we gotta have a group chatjaredyoureamoose:and all of you have nicknamesjaredyoureamoose:courtesy of me[[ aka: celia is writing a chatroom fic. the kids seem okay but theyre also kind of not. ]]





	1. the beginning

**_> >>jaredyoureamoose _ ** _ has added  _ **_futuremspresident_ ** _ ,  _ **_teenageangst™_ ** _ ,  _ **_zoemonster_ ** _ , and  _ **_anxietyincarnate_ ** _ to the chatroom _

 

**jaredyoureamoose:** hey hey hey, guess what

**jaredyoureamoose:** now that all of us

**jaredyoureamoose:** are like friends or whatever

**jaredyoureamoose:** we gotta have a group chat

**jaredyoureamoose:** and all of you have nicknames

**jaredyoureamoose:** courtesy of me

**zoemonster:** My nickname isnt even good

**futuremspresident:** I love mine, actually!!!!!

**teenageangst™:** ur gonna lose ur nose kleinman

**jaredyoureamoose:** stfu murphy

**zoemonster:** So whose anxiety incarnate? Evan?

**jaredyoureamoose:** ding ding ding

**jaredyoureamoose:** we have a winner!

**teenageangst™:** wait hansen is here

**jaredyoureamoose:** yea

**jaredyoureamoose:** but hes asleep prob

**futuremspresident:** As expected of Evan. He’s a good student and child.

**jaredyoureamoose:** are we talking about the same evan????

**anxietyincarnate:** JARED.

**jaredyoureamoose:** oh no

**teenageangst™:** HEY HANSENS HERE

**jaredyoureamoose:** i made a mistake

**anxietyincarnate:** IT IS THREE TWENTY-SEVEN IN THE MORNING, JARED DAMIAN KLEINMAN.

**anxietyincarnate:** AND I GOT TO SLEEP MAYBE TEN MINUTES AGO.

**anxietyincarnate:** And what am I woken up to??? 

**anxietyincarnate:** YOUR STUPID FUCKING JOHN CENA RINGTONE.

**anxietyincarnate:** MY MOM COULD’VE BEEN HOME.

**anxietyincarnate:** SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING.

**zoemonster:** theres no way this is evan

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan i can explain

**anxietyincarnate:** I DON’T CARE IF THIS HAS TO DO WITH YOUR SHITTY FUCKING CRYPTIDS OR SHIT.

**anxietyincarnate:** I WANT SLEEP. 

**anxietyincarnate:** YOU COULD BE TELLING ME THE MURPHY’S WANTED A THREESOME AND I COULDN’T GIVE A SHIT LESS RIGHT NOW.

**anxietyincarnate:** YOU WOKE ME UP. AND I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW.

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m turning my phone on silent, and I am going to bed.

**anxietyincarnate:** Fuck you.

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan holy shit

**zoemonster:** That could NOT have been evan.

**futuremspresident:** I am actually inclined to agree.

**jaredyoureamoose:** and that, everyone,

**jaredyoureamoose:** is what happens when you wake up a sleep-deprived Evan

**teenageangst™:** so i kno every1 is flipping shit abt anrgy hansen

**teenageangst™:** but am i the only 1 who noticed the 3sum mention

**zoemonster:** I, uh.

**zoemonster:** Yeah, what was that about?

**futuremspresident:** I’m curious too.

**jaredyoureamoose:** to put it simply

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan hansen is VERY bisexual

**jaredyoureamoose:** and he realized it on the first day of junior year when zoe and connor walked into the door of his biology class and sat in front of him

**jaredyoureamoose:** yeah but yall are the cause of evans queer panic

**teenageangst™:** w8 fuck

**zoemonster:** what are you talking about jared.

**jaredyoureamoose:** are yall really this dense

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan had a panic attack because the murphy children are hot

**jaredyoureamoose:** thats all there is to it

**teenageangst™:** ok but hansen is adorable in every way

**futuremspresident:** ^^^^

**zoemonster:** Unless he’s sleep deprived.

**teenageangst™:** i wouldnt fuck w sleep deprived evan

**teenageangst™:** ngl its hot tho

**zoemonster:** Connor you’re gross.

**futuremspresident:** Zoe, are you saying Evan’s unattractive? 

**zoemonster:** Lana it sounds like you're baiting me.

**zoemonster:** Evan is adorable but connor is only proving that he's a creepy, kinky motherfucker

**jaredyoureamoose:** I KNEW IT

**jaredyoureamoose:** yall’re gonna give ev a heart attack when he wakes up

**teenageangst™:** note 4 future evan

**teenageangst™:** ur gonna hate me 2mrw

**futuremspresident:** Guys…

**jaredyoureamoose:** connor dont molest him

**zoemonster:** Connor don’t freak him out.

**teenageangst™:** :D

**zoemonster:** Oh no he's using emojis.

**jaredyoureamoose:** poor ev

**futuremspresident:** Connor. Don’t do whatever you’re going to do.

**zoemonster:** CONNOR YOU ASSHOLE.

**zoemonster:** DON’T LOCK YOUR FUCKING DOOR.

**futuremspresident:** You all should sleep, we have a test in anatomy tomorrow.

**jaredyoureamoose:** fuck i forgot

**jaredyoureamoose:** i didn’t study

**jaredyoureamoose:** byeeeee

**zoemonster:** goodnight guys

**futuremspresident:** Goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> hey, so I'm awful at doing multi-chaptered fics as i have stated in literally every multi-chaptered fic I've ever written, but hey! I'm on summer vacation, so...
> 
> \--> You should leave comments!! they're great and make my day!
> 
> \--> apologies if everyone is out of character, i don't... I'm bad at characterization. I'm trying.


	2. bribery and the evan hansen protection squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> Just in case anyone is confused, partway through Evan and Connor goof and switch phones. You can tell by the typing style :D

**anxietyincarnate:** I hate myself.

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, why.

**jaredyoureamoose:** what did i do

**anxietyincarnate:** I didn’t realize this was a group chat.

**anxietyincarnate:** Also, I’m scared, I haven’t seen Connor all day and his messages from yesterday are concerning.

**jaredyoureamoose:** did he send you a dick pic? 

**anxietyincarnate:** No!! No he did not!!! Now shush!!!!

**zoemonster:** He may act like a dick but he certainly doesnt have one.

**jaredyoureamoose:** ROASTED

**zoemonster:** I know he's at school, he came in the car with me.

**zoemonster:** He’s probably getting high in a closet or something.

**teenageangst™:** not high

**anxietyincarnate:** Where are you?????

**teenageangst™:** ;3c

**anxietyincarnate:** That’s not an answer!

**futuremspresident:** Evan, you may want to brace yourself.

**anxietyincarnate:** Alana, do you know what’s going on????

**futuremspresident:** I do.

**futuremspresident:** I also have a batch of double chocolate chip cookies and a vow of silence. Sorry Evan!

**zoemonster:** Connor you can’t bribe people!

 

…

 

**jaredyoureamoose:** the chat just went dead

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan??

**zoemonster:** Connor killed him.

**zoemonster:** Im sure of it.

**jaredyoureamoose:** rest in pieces, Evan

**anxietyincarnate:** he gud

**anxietyincarnate:** also evan has a cute lockscreen

**zoemonster:** Did you take his phone??

**anxietyincarnate:** duh

**anxietyincarnate:** i think he tuk mine w him

**anxietyincarnate:** so imma spam his w/ selfies

**zoemonster:** What did you do to him????

**anxietyincarnate:** nunya

**anxietyincarnate:** but he has my hoodie now

**anxietyincarnate:** he ran 2 go hide in th bathrm

**teenageangst™:** I feel unclean.

**jaredyoureamoose:** did you take his virginity or smthn???

**teenageangst™:** Jared, shut up.

**anxietyincarnate:** :P

**anxietyincarnate:** i just smothered him

**zoemonster:** Connor is apparently needy.

**zoemonster: S** eriously weird.

**teenageangst™:** I’m not used to touch.

**teenageangst™:** Especially not a lot of it.

**teenageangst™:** Connor is handsy and I panicked.

**anxietyincarnate:** s’not like i went below the belt

**teenageangst™:** >:c

**futuremspresident:** I knew you were going to give him a heart attack and scare him, but really Connor? That’s just mean.

**anxietyincarnate:** he liked it

**teenageangst™:** Debatable.

**anxietyincarnate:** can I giv u back ur phone now

**teenageangst™:** Did you really spam my phone with selfies?

**anxietyincarnate:** ye

**teenageangst™:** …

**jaredyoureamoose:** hey evan you have jerking off material now

**teenageangst™:** I!!!! Don't!!!! Do that!!!!!!!!! 

**teenageangst™:** Shut up Jared!!!!!!!!!

**anxietyincarnate:** ;) ;) ;)

**zoemonster:** Connor, that's actually really gay. please don't corrupt evan, he’s pure™.

**anxietyincarnate:** BULLSHIT

**teenageangst™:** Alright, I want my phone back!!

**futuremspresident:** That is certainly something, isn’t it? Those two get along so well. 

**zoemonster:** I am like 99% sure connor just wants to fuck evan.

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan would be down

**anxietyincarnate:** Don’t go putting words into my mouth, Jared. 

**teenageangst™:** evan is hot.

**teenageangst™:** 10/10, would def bang.

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, no. 

**jaredyoureamoose:** gAAAAAAAAAY

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, I would murder you if I wasn't so anxious about getting caught. 

**zoemonster:** Ok so evan is bi, connor is gay af, im bi, lana is homo/ace.

**zoemonster:** Jared what the fuck are you?

**zoemonster:** Are you straight??

**anxietyincarnate:** Absolutely not. 

**jaredyoureamoose:** nah

**jaredyoureamoose:** i like tits as much as the next guy

**jaredyoureamoose:** but guys are hot

**jaredyoureamoose:** pansexual all the way, baby

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared flirts with anyone. 

**jaredyoureamoose:** do not! 

**jaredyoureamoose:** i have standards!

**teenageangst™:** callin bull

**jaredyoureamoose:** at least im not a sassy queer like someone

**anxietyincarnate:** Oh my god, leave me alone about that, Jared. 

**zoemonster:** story time?

**futuremspresident:** Sounds like storytime to me!

**jaredyoureamoose:** not much of a story, it's just evan being a sassy shit

**jaredyoureamoose:** one time he was being really fucking gay

**jaredyoureamoose:** and one time i looked @ him and said

**jaredyoureamoose:** “im sick of you denying it, embrace the gay, evan.”

**jaredyoureamoose:** guess what this motherfucker does?? 

**jaredyoureamoose:** evan turns, walks across the hall and sweeps connor into this really gay, really gross hug that was way too mushy for my pure virgin eyes

**teenageangst™:** that hug was the fkin bomb

**jaredyoureamoose:** tree fucker looks me dead in the eye

**jaredyoureamoose:** “im not sure what hugging connor has to do with this conversation, jared”

**zoemonster:** Lmao

**futuremspresident:** That’s actually really funny! And yes, I have to agree, that’s very gay.

**teenageangst™:** tru bros can have tight emotional hugs w/out bein Gay™ my dude

**jaredyoureamoose:** *tree bros

**jaredyoureamoose:** also it was really gay

**jaredyoureamoose:** i thought you were gonna grope him

**teenageangst™:** ok but hav u seen evans butt

**teenageangst™:** it's a rly fuckin nice butt

**anxietyincarnate:** Can we not talk about my butt, please?

**jaredyoureamoose:** its pretty nice, i agree

**teenageangst™:** like lemme touch that 1 time and i can die happy

**zoemonster:** Connor that's gay

**teenageangst™:** you know it B)

**futuremspresident:** I’m inclined to agree with Evan, can we not talk about his backside?

**anxietyincarnate:** Seriously. 

**anxietyincarnate:** And nothing about me is attractive, don't get my hopes up please

**teenageangst™:** LIES

**teenageangst™:** DUDE NO HOMO

**teenageangst™:** ok a lil homo

**teenageangst™:** BUT UR AN ANGEL

**teenageangst™:** A REALLY HOT ANGEL

**jaredyoureamoose:** im kinda in agreement

**jaredyoureamoose:** youre a nervous wreck but not the worst thing to look @

**teenageangst™:** Kleinman stfu

 

_ >>> _ **_zoemonster_ ** _ has changed the chatroom name to  _ **_Evan Protection Squad, 2k17_ **

 

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m going to cry. 

**anxietyincarnate:** All of you are gonna make me cry.

**teenageangst™:** u rnt gettin worked up r u

**teenageangst™:** plz dont have a panic attack

**anxietyincarnate:** No, no, I’m fine.

**jaredyoureamoose:** gET A ROOM YOU TWO

**zoemonster:** Agreed.

**anxietyincarnate:** Guys.

**teenageangst™:** hansen legit ill come cuddle u down from ur panic

**jaredyoureamoose:** i cant believe the school shooter is so touchy feely

**zoemonster:** He is actually never like this ever?

**zoemonster:** Legit, connor hates being touched

**teenageangst™:** ok but hansen is smol and i can curl around him

**teenageangst™:** he fits perfectly its awesome

**futuremspresident:** That’s um.

**jaredyoureamoose:** gAY

**zoemonster:** Connor you’re so gay.

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m.

**teenageangst™:** hansen is soft too

**teenageangst™:** his belly is the best pillow

**teenageangst™:** hes ticklish af

**jaredyoureamoose:** can confirm

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor found that out purely by accident. 

**anxietyincarnate:** He gave me a zerbert and I elbowed him.

**jaredyoureamoose:** oh my god mistake #1

**zoemonster:** What the fuck is a zerbert?? 

**teenageangst™:** u call raspberries zerberts??

**anxietyincarnate:** Yes? 

**anxietyincarnate:** I got one on the neck and swung my arm back.

**teenageangst™:** it hurt but #worth it

 

_ >>> _ **_anxietyincarnate_ ** _ is now  _ **_acorn-boy_ **

 

**acorn-boy:** Who changed my name??  

**acorn-boy:** Wait, I know who. Never mind.

**zoemonster:** Acorn boy?? 

**teenageangst™:** wow thats original

 

_ >>> _ **_jaredyoureamoose_ ** _ is now  _ **_cryptidshit_ **

 

**cryptidshit:** ha! jokes on you evan, i love cryptids

 

_ >>> _ **_acorn-boy_ ** _ is now  _ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m keeping my name, thank you very much. 

**zoemonster:** I swear to god if you guys get my phone taken away

**anxietyincarnate:** Why are you texting in class??

**zoemonster:** I was muting my phone actually.

**zoemonster:** It keeps buzzing.

**zoemonster:** Oh fuck, gotta go.

**teenageangst™:** man am i glad seniors have study hall rn

**futuremspresident:** I feel bad for Zoe being a year below us....

**teenageangst™:** ur saying that bc ur graduating before her

**futuremspresident:** Of course! Zoe’s my friend, I would hate to leave her behind!

**cryptidshit:** “friends”

**teenageangst™:** “friends”

**anxietyincarnate:** You guys aren’t dating? 

**futuremspresident:** … I’m sorry? 

**cryptidshit:** you two are almost as gay as our resident lover boys

**cryptidshit:** i hella thought yall were together

**anxietyincarnate:** The bell is going to ring, we can continue this later.

**teenageangst™:** boring :P

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, don’t you dare skip class or get your phone taken. 

**teenageangst™:** yes mom

**anxietyincarnate:** That applies to you, too, Jared.

**cryptidshit:** fuck

**cryptidshit:** fine

**cryptidshit:** bye

**teenageangst™:** gg

**anxietyincarnate:** Bye guys. Bye Alana! 

**futuremspresident:** Goodbye. Do well in your classes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> Can I just say that it's really funny to me how everyone loves sleep-deprived Evan?? Because Evan is hella confident over text, and it's great. i love Evan.
> 
> \--> Also Connor is either really handsy and constantly demanding attention or he doesn't want anyone to touch him with a fifteen-foot pole. No in between.
> 
> \--> Comments make my day, guys! And the ones I've gotten so far have been really fantastic, and I love it.
> 
> \--> You should come talk to me on tumblr! I'm @emberchii, so feel free to drop by! ^^


	3. cryptids, conspiracy theories, and therapist appointments

**cryptidshit:** okay so i know i added everyone at like 3am on the first day of this thing but like

 **cryptidshit:** i dont expect any of you to be awake

 **cryptidshit:** so let me talk about the conspiracy theory of mountain dew and electricity

 **teenageangst™:** i’m listenin

 **cryptidshit:** wait youre into conspiracy theories?

 **teenageangst™:** duh

 **teenageangst™:** and also id marry mothman

 **teenageangst™:** sorry hansen

 **cryptidshit:** damn murphy i might just steal you from evan

 **teenageangst™:** u said conspiracy theories

 **teenageangst™:** im all ears dude

 **cryptidshit:** oh damn let me go grab my notes and we can get this party started

 

[219 messages hidden]

 

 **teenageangst™:** ok but how much do u kno abt the avril lavigne dying thing

 **cryptidshit:** okay so i remember that there was like this weird difference in her style from like 2003-2004 and she just vanishes off the face of the earth for like six years

 **teenageangst™:** nah dude it was only like

 **teenageangst™:** four years

 **teenageangst™:** i think?

 **teenageangst™:** she vanished 2003, came back 2007

 **teenageangst™:** and she looks and acts different i guess

 **teenageangst™:** also i’ve looked @ those photos and compared b4 and after pictures and

 **teenageangst™:** like there are small things

 **teenageangst™:** her eye colour is a lil dif

 **teenageangst™:** and the corners of her eyes are tilted up more

 **teenageangst™:** i dismiss the hair

 **teenageangst™:** bc ppl bleach and dye their hair all the time, no biggie

 **teenageangst™:** but if u look @ her jaw

 **teenageangst™:** her jawline is dif

 **teenageangst™:** or at least her cheekbones are

 **cryptidshit:** did you save pics?

 **teenageangst™:** [IMG_341.JPG]

 **teenageangst™:** [IMG_343.JPG]

 **teenageangst™:** eyes

 **teenageangst™:** [IMG_748.JPG]

 **teenageangst™:** [IMG_785.JPG]

 **teenageangst™:** [IMG_786.JPG]

 **teenageangst™:** the 1st 2 are styles b4 disappearance, last 1 is after

 **teenageangst™:** also would the girl who wrote sk8r boi marry a dude from nickelback

 **cryptidshit:** damn dude

 **cryptidshit:** youve got me convinced

 **cryptidshit:** okay but i hella love sk8r boi

 **cryptidshit:** that song is the bomb

 **cryptidshit:** you should serenade evan with it

 **teenageangst™:** u better b joking

 **teenageangst™:** i cant sing worth shit

 **teenageangst™:** id rather not get laughed at

 **zoemonster:** Go to bed

 **teenageangst™:** no

 **zoemonster:** Connor you just got your door back go to bed

 **teenageangst™:** ur not my mom

 **zoemonster:** yeah but i can get you in trouble with fucking larry

 **teenageangst™:** FUCKING LARRY

 **teenageangst™:** yeah fine

 **teenageangst™:** this will be continued at school 2mrw, Kleinman

 **cryptidshit:** DEAL

 

…

 

 **futuremspresident:** Why is it Jared and Connor know so much about cryptids and yet their grades are never higher than a C?

 **zoemonster:** Its because they know so much about cryptids and conspiracy theories that their grades suck

 **anxietyincarnate:** Jared’s aren’t horrible. He has mostly B’s, last i checked.

 **futuremspresident:** I’m glad you keep an eye on his grades, Evan!

 **zoemonster:** How does he even manage good grades?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I’ve been letting him copy my AP Physics notes.

 **futuremspresident:** Evan, you have just lost a metaphorical gold star.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Aw, what?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I only do it because he helps me restock my stash…

 **zoemonster:** Stash?

 **futuremspresident:** Stash?

 **anxietyincarnate:** So you guys know I have anxiety.

 **anxietyincarnate:** I made a stash of what is basically junk food for days when it gets really bad.

 **zoemonster:** Damn, you’re even prepared! Thats impressive

 **futuremspresident:** You don’t binge-eat, do you?

 **anxietyincarnate:** No! No, I just eat until I don’t want any more and put it back.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Throwing up just makes me even more anxious, so. I do my best to not.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Although… My stash is probably why I can’t really lose weight...

 **zoemonster:** I mean, having some pudge isn’t too bad. You don’t smoke pot when youre having a bad day.

 **teenageangst™:** salty sister senses r tingling

 **teenageangst™:** weed isnt even that bad rly

 **zoemonster:** It so is, though!!!

 **teenageangst™:** yea yea whatev

 **teenageangst™:** also hansen

 **teenageangst™:** your pudge is cute

 **teenageangst™:** leave it

 **teenageangst™:** fuck

 **teenageangst™:** teacher comin down the row, abort

 **teenageangst™:** im outie

 **anxietyincarnate:** Did I just called cute by Connor Murphy?

 **futuremspresident:** Looks like it, yes.

 **zoemonster:** Connor you’re so fucking gay

 **cryptidshit:** yall are gonna kill evan

 **cryptidshit:** he almost dropped his phone

 **cryptidshit:** he’s like a tomato right now

 **cryptidshit:** >>>this message has been deleted

 **cryptidshit:** evan what the fuck

 **cryptidshit:** >>>this message has been deleted

 **cryptidshit:** >>>this message has been deleted

 **cryptidshit:** its just a picture!!!!!

 **anxietyincarnate:** It was a really bad picture!

 **zoemonster:** Jared, leave evan alone.

 **futuremspresident:** Is an angry Evan as intimidating as a sleep-deprived one?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I don’t normally get angry....

 **cryptidshit:** you dont want evan angry with you

 **cryptidshit:** its happened a total of once to a kid in middle school

 **cryptidshit:** ev cries when hes mad

 **anxietyincarnate:** I cry about almost everything, Jared. I can’t stand up to do a presentation without wanting to puke.

 **cryptidshit:** well duh

 **cryptidshit:** you have anxiety

 **cryptidshit:** thats bad enough that you see a therapist

 **cryptidshit:** you’re not really right in the head

 **zoemonster:** Jared, that was uncalled for.

 **cryptidshit:** well im right and ev knows it

 **cryptidshit:** oh fuck brb evs hyperventalating

 **zoemonster:** Oh damn

 **zoemonster:** Ev, you okay??

 **cryptidshit:** yeah hes good, hes just overthinking

 **cryptidshit:** im gettin him water and a place to sit, he’ll be fine

 **cryptidshit:** and you two need to focus on class

 **futuremspresident:** Jared, I mean no offence since you’re one of my closest acquaintances, but you being authoritative is strange and slightly uncomfortable.

 **zoemonster:** where are you two??

 **cryptidshit:** library

 **cryptidshit:** we’re working on a paper

 **cryptidshit:** ev has a tree book for now, he’ll be good in 10

 **zoemonster:** K, keep us updated i guess

 

 

 

 **teenageangst™:** hansen doin ok?

 **cryptidshit:** yea hes fine

 **cryptidshit:** ev just remembered that he has a presentation in his eco class

 **cryptidshit:** but he’s a nature freak so he’ll be good

 **teenageangst™:** ok good

 **cryptidshit:** and the worst he can do is ramble tbh

 **cryptidshit:** youve been weird lately murphy

 **cryptidshit:** when do you ever care this much for anyone??

 **teenageangst™:** hansens my friend

 **teenageangst™:** u got a problem?

 **cryptidshit:** not really

 **cryptidshit:** i can count on you to beat up people that scare him

 **teenageangst™:** i thought u were friends with evan bc ur mom pays ur car insurance

 **cryptidshit:** evs a “family friend”

 **cryptidshit:** but he’s also my bro

 **cryptidshit:** ev bein upset makes me feel guilty, so

 **teenageangst™:** ive seen him cry 1ce

 **teenageangst™:** y hasnt he gotten on?

 **cryptidshit:** bc hes actually working

 **cryptidshit:** im playin flappy bird, dude

 **teenageangst™:** u still play that

 **teenageangst™:** i assumed u were eatin bath bombs or smthn

 **cryptidshit:** i did that once, shut it

 **teenageangst™:** well you have fun with that

 **teenageangst™:** bells gonna ring in a sec and im gonna skip

 **cryptidshit:** didnt ev ask you not to do that?

 **teenageangst™:** last class sucked, im goin and gettin high

 **teenageangst™:** sorry hansen

 **cryptidshit:** wont your teacher call your parents?

 **teenageangst™:** nah the art teach is cool + this is like my 2nd class w/ him in a day

 **teenageangst™:** s’not like ill be far

 **teenageangst™:** u worried 4 me, kleinman?

 **cryptidshit:** not really, but ev will be

 **teenageangst™:** its just weed

 **teenageangst™:** s’not like i can go anywhere, don't have driving privileges yet

 **cryptidshit:** fair enough

 **cryptidshit:** ill message you with more cryptid stuff

 **cryptidshit:** you being high will make it fun

 **teenageangst™:** have fun w/ that dude

 **teenageangst™:** later

 **cryptidshit:** later

 

 

...

 

 _ >>>Private message; _ **_futuremspresident_ ** _/_ **_zoemonster_ **

 

 **futuremspresident:** Zoe? Are you online?

 **zoemonster:** Now i am, whats up?

 **futuremspresident:** So, I know you don’t really want Connor finding out.

 **futuremspresident:** So if anyone brings up the fact that we’re “overly friendly” with each other, should we just divert attention to the fact that Connor smothers Evan?

 **zoemonster:** Oh shit, i havent even thought about it.

 **zoemonster:** Honestly it’s less wanting connor to be in the dark and more i dont want the parents finding out

 **futuremspresident:** We can only keep up the tutor excuse for so long, Zoe.

 **futuremspresident:** Especially since your grades are essentially perfect and you don’t need my help to begin with.

 **zoemonster:** I don’t really need the help, but i get to distract you from your work and thats always fun

 **futuremspresident:** “Distract” is a good word.

 **futuremspresident:** You’ll have to stop “distracting” me when I’m at your house though.

 **futuremspresident:** If I recall, Connor has no real concept of privacy that isn’t his own.

 **zoemonster:** I have a door, though.

 **zoemonster:** and a lock.

 **futuremspresident:** A lock that can be picked with a coin.

 **zoemonster:** …

 **zoemonster:** Alright fair point.

 **zoemonster:** We’ll be careful and redirect as need be

 

 _ >>>Private message; _ **_END_ ** _._

 

 **anxietyincarnate:** I have to go to see my therapist today and i really don’t want to.

 **futuremspresident:** It’s your therapist, Evan! It’ll help!

 **anxietyincarnate:** I guess so…

 **teenageangst™:** u gonna b ok hansen?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I mean, probably?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I just… I haven’t written letters in about a week now.

 **anxietyincarnate:** I don’t want to get hit in the chest with disappointment because I’m too exhausted to write.

 **teenageangst™:** ohhh yea forgot u do that

 **teenageangst™:** dear evan hansen

 **teenageangst™:** those things, ye?

 **anxietyincarnate:** Yeah, those things.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Mom keeps telling me I’ll be fine, but we’ll see how it goes.

 **cryptidshit:** youll be fine evan

 **cryptidshit:** is it before or after today?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I’m going to first period, and then leaving for my appointment.

 **teenageangst™:** gl dude

 **cryptidshit:** have fun, ev

 **futuremspresident:** Good luck, Evan!

 

…

 

 **zoemonster:** Connor, how do you tell when someones high

 **teenageangst™:** why r u asking?

 **zoemonster:** Because it looks like a couple of kids in my gym class are stoned

 **zoemonster:** One of them just got beaned with a dodgeball and didn’t seem to notice

 **teenageangst™:** idk zoe, its dif for everyone

 **teenageangst™:** i just chill when im high

 **teenageangst™:** i think abt evan a lot when im high now

 **zoemonster:** Connor you are so fucked

 **teenageangst™:** u think i dont kno that

 **teenageangst™:** btw hansen is never coming to our house ever

 **zoemonster:** What about when mom finds out about him?

 **teenageangst™:** uh she wont?

 **teenageangst™:** cynthia and fucking larry will giv him a heart attack

 **teenageangst™:** cynthia bc shes a fuckin helicopter

 **teenageangst™:** larry bc hes fUCKING LARRY

 **teenageangst™:** not happenin

 **teenageangst™:** im not lettin our fam scare our friends away zo

 **zoemonster:** Alana hasn’t been scared away

 **teenageangst™:** yea well alana is perfect in their eyes

 **teenageangst™:** also she hasnt eaten their food tbh

 **teenageangst™:** hansen would cry if he saw cynthias’s “garden” too

 **teenageangst™:** i cant put him thru that

 **zoemonster:** You mean the cacti she has that she hasnt watered in two months

 **teenageangst™:** ye

 **zoemonster:** Fair

 **zoemonster:** Evan would cry

 **futuremspresident:** Honestly your parents make me uncomfortable so I kind of do my best to avoid them.

 **futuremspresident:** “Oh, you have a 4.9 GPA? That’s so wonderful, I’m so glad Zoe is friends with a nice girl like you.”

 **futuremspresident:** “You’re so pretty, I’m sure you must have a boyfriend.”

 **futuremspresident:** “Would you like to stay for dinner so we can interrogate you on what our children act like at school?”

 **futuremspresident:** I am all for respect but your parents don’t know bounds.

 **zoemonster:** I remember you were pissed when you found out connor didnt have a door for a while

 **futuremspresident:** Because taking away your child’s privacy won’t fix the problem!

 **teenageangst™:** tHANK U

 **teenageangst™:** tHATS WHAT IV BEEN S A Y I N G

 **futuremspresident:** If your child screws up, talk to them and they’re likely to fix it.

 **futuremspresident:** Nothing makes me angrier than parents who hear their child but don’t listen or help.

 **teenageangst™:** see alana this is y i luv u

 **teenageangst™:** zoe u have good taste

 **zoemonster:** Connor you’re not stealing my best friend sorry

 **teenageangst™:** ur not foolin anyone w/ the gal pals act

 **zoemonster:** So I’m friendly

 **zoemonster:** Aren’t you being a little too friendly with evan?

 **teenageangst™:** not @ all

 **teenageangst™:** hes dense af tho

 **teenageangst™:** i hope his appointment is goin ok

 **zoemonster:** He’s been seeing his therapist for a few months though, right?

 **zoemonster:** I’m sure he’s fine

 **zoemonster:** Also go work on your calculus, i know youre in that class

 **teenageangst™:** >:P

 

…

 

 **cryptidshit:** yo evan, when are you getting back to school?

 **cryptidshit:** ev?

 **cryptidshit:** evan??

 **anxietyincarnate:** I’m going home for the day.

 **cryptidshit:** aw what

 **cryptidshit:** what happened at your appointment?

 **anxietyincarnate:** I just feel bad again. I’m going to eat and then sleep for the rest of the day I think.

 **anxietyincarnate:** I’ll see yio all tomorerow

 **anxietyincarnate:** sorryk

 **anxietyincarnate:** sory*

 **anxietyincarnate:** sorry*

 **cryptidshit:** dont eat a ton of shit, you’ll feel like crap later

 

…

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_teenageangst™_ ** _/_ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

 **teenageangst™:** hansen what happened

 **teenageangst™:** are u okay?

 **teenageangst™:** cmon dude ull feel better after talking

 **teenageangst™:** i guess ur asleep

 **teenageangst™:** msg me when u wake up

 **teenageangst™:** please

 **teenageangst™:** im worried abt you dude

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_END_ **

 

…

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_zoemonster_ ** _/_ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

 **zoemonster:** Evan please wake up and talk to us

 **zoemonster:** Jared was kind of really worried all of lunch and connor hasnt stopped pacing since we got home

 **zoemonster:** at least get some water when you wake up

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_END_ **   
  
…

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_futuremspresident_ ** _/_ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

 **futuremspresident:** Evan, I hope you’re doing okay.

 **futuremspresident:** Your appointment must not have gone well, I take it.

 **futuremspresident:** I hope you know you can talk to us.

 **futuremspresident:** Worst case, know you can talk to me.

 **futuremspresident:** Goodnight, Evan.

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_END_ **

 

...

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_cryptidshit_ ** _/_ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

 **cryptidshit:** dude what happened at your appointment

 **cryptidshit:** i went to your house and your mom didnt even let me in

 **cryptidshit:** kinda worried ev

 **cryptidshit:** answer asap

 **cryptidshit:** or at least come to school tomorrow

 

 _ >>>Private message: _ **_END_ **

 

…

 

 **anxietyincarnate:** I’ms o fucked up gusy

 **anxietyincarnate:** so*, gusy*

 **anxietyincarnate:** guys*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> I'm sorry Evan ^^;;
> 
> \--> Eyyyy, y'all should leave comments because they're great. And I love your guys' comments. 
> 
> \--> apologies in advance, this is going to be a rollercoaster ^^;;;


	4. good friends

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m so fucking paranoid and i hate it i hate it i hate it

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m so fkuced up

**anxietyincarnate:** fucked*

**anxietyincarnate:** Dammit

**anxietyincarnate:** I can’t even spell rifht

**anxietyincarnate:** right*

**anxietyincarnate:** I can barely tel my theraoist about how I can’t dp anything right

**anxietyincarnate:** tell*, therapist*, do*

**anxietyincarnate:** I got asked about scholo and that was fine but I mentioned that I cried aboit my presentation

**anxietyincarnate:** school*, about*

**anxietyincarnate:** And I just got this disappointed look

**anxietyincarnate:** “I thought we were doing better, Evan.”

**anxietyincarnate:** I get it I’m a fuckup but don’t look at me like I am one

**anxietyincarnate:** Yes I was gettinb better but its so focking hard

**anxietyincarnate:** getting*, fucking*

**anxietyincarnate:** And I couldn’t bring myself to tell hetr that I’m happy but I’m not always happy

**anxietyincarnate:** her*

**anxietyincarnate:** And half the time I’m sitting here and looking at my cast

**anxietyincarnate:** I couldn’t even get anyone to sign it before Connor

**anxietyincarnate:** What kind of fucking idiot breaks his arm falling out of a tree

**anxietyincarnate:** It was 30 feet up and now mom has to deal with a son thats broken both physically and mnetally

**anxietyincarnate:** mentally*

**anxietyincarnate:** And I’m trying but then I get bad again and she just looks at me

**anxietyincarnate:** And she just looks so sad

**anxietyincarnate:** And I’m just this burden on her since dad left

**anxietyincarnate:** Thats all i am that’s all I’n ever gong to be that's all I’ve ever been

**anxietyincarnate:** that’s*, I’m*, going*,

**anxietyincarnate:** God damn it and without me Mom wouldn’t have to work all these shifts

**anxietyincarnate:** If I wasn’t around maybe dad could still be around and mom could be out of school and morking where she wants to be working and she could spebn time with her family

**anxietyincarnate:** working*, spend*

**anxietyincarnate:** She’s my mom and i shoukd love her but sometimes i just hate her but it’s not her fault it’s my faukt i just wish i wasn’t around

**anxietyincarnate:** should*, faukt*

**anxietyincarnate:** fault*

**anxietyincarnate:** I wish I fell out of that tree a little harder or hit something that wasn’t my arm, like my neck or my spine or my head.

**anxietyincarnate:** then mom wouldn’t be stuck with a useless child that can’t even stand to order pizza because he’s so pathetic and he drops the change and he doesn’t know how to tip and he can’t bring himself to do anything and yet he hurt himself which cost us money and his own dad left him so now mom and I don’t know what to do because she wants mke to go to college but I just can’t

**anxietyincarnate:** me*

**anxietyincarnate:** And she picked me up from my appointment and she looked so hopeful when she asked how it went that I couldn’t help but lie

**anxietyincarnate:** because I told her it went great even though i wanted to throw up for lying to her and she just smiled so wide and looked so happy

**anxietyincarnate:** And i hate it i hate me I don’t understand why you guys can stand me because I’m worthless I can’t do anything and I’m trying but it’s so hard to be happy when you feel like you’re being crushed from all sides constantly

**anxietyincarnate:** Fuck and now i’m wrapping all of you up in my problems

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m so sorry

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m sorry, Im sorry, I’m sorry

**anxietyincarnate:** I’ll just

**anxietyincarnate:** Go

 

_ >>> _ **_anxietyincarnate_ ** _has left the chat_

 

…

 

**cryptidshit:** fuck, he’s panicking again

**teenageangst™:** he wont answer my messages either

**teenageangst™:** does he feel like this all the time??

**cryptidshit:** hes normally pretty happy, especially if you can get him talking about something he likes

**cryptidshit:** but ev’s anxiety has only gotten worse since middle school

**cryptidshit:** like he’s been going to therapy since about the beginning of last year

**cryptidshit:** but that’s only because he couldn’t control it anymore and had a breakdown in front of heidi

**cryptidshit:** hes not coming to school today after a breakdown like that

**teenageangst™:** …

**teenageangst™:** i feel bad

**cryptidshit:** well i have an idea

**cryptidshit:** evans prob going to hate us, but he can deal

 

…

 

**zoemonster:** evan isn’t answering anyone, is he?

 

…

 

**futuremspresident:** I hope he didn’t do anything stupid.

**cryptidshit:** you and me both, lana

 

…

 

“Zoe!”

The aforementioned girl looked up from her hushed conversation with Alana as Jared approached with Connor on his heels. Jared grabbed Zoe by the wrist, startling her into jerking away from him, but there was something strange in Jared’s expression that caused her to frown, her eyebrows knitting together.

“What’s up?”

“You doing anything after school today?”

Zoe shook her head. “No, Jazz got canceled for the day.” She threw a look at Connor, who was rocking back and forth on his feet and scratching incessantly at his arms, fingernails leaving behind thin white lines.

Jared swiveled to look at Alena, expression unreadable and flat as he repeated the question. Alena frowned and adjusted her glasses.

“I don’t really have any plans other than tutoring Zoe.”

“Great. C’mon.” And then Jared was moving again, leaving Zoe and Alana to recover while Connor ducked past them in an attempt to keep Jared in his sight. Zoe cursed, grabbed Alana by the wrist, and the two girls scrambled after them, weaving through the throng of students that crowded the hallways in an attempt to get out of the building.

Long, cold fingers curled around Zoe’s wrist and yanked her towards one of the emergency exits. Jared was waiting, tapping his foot impatiently, and Connor released Zoe’s wrist without a word.

“Care to tell us what this is about?” Zoe finally spoke up as the four of them left the building and stood in the bright sunshine of the afternoon.

“I texted Heidi and she said she left Evan home alone. And honestly, I don’t trust an upset Evan to be home by himself when there are pills that he can get to.” Jared led the other three to the student parking lot, where a somewhat rusted, tan car glinted in the light. Jared opened the driver’s side door, barking out a “get in”:

Connor, Zoe, and Alana all crammed into the car, with Alana taking shotgun and leaving the Murphey siblings uncomfortably squished in the back seat.

“So, can I ask why you’re so concerned?”

“Because,” Jared shifted gears as they sped out of the school parking lot, eyes glued on the road. “If you leave Evan in his own head for too long, his meds don’t work as well, and it’s a gross downward spiral from there.”

“Last time he dropped out of a tree.” Connor said bluntly, and at a glance it looked like he was curled in on himself. One arm was tucked into his stomach, and the other was picking at the holes in his jeans, tugging at loose threads. Understanding dawned on Alana faster than it did Zoe, but quickly the younger Murphy offered a quiet, “Oh.”

“So what are we going to do about it?” Alana finally asked.

“We’re his friends.” Jared took his eyes off the road for a second to throw a look at Alana, but then he was pressing on the gas again as they moved to a different street. “We’re distractions.”

“Distractions.” Zoe echoed, voice blank. “Won’t he go back to being upset once we leave, though?”

“He thinks we’re his friends because we pity him. Kleinman is the best example there.” Connor snorted.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Jared glanced at his rearview mirror, glancing at as much of Connor as he could see.

“Family friends,” Connor responded, making air quotes to go with his words.

“Fair enough.”

“So this is mainly to show Evan that we care.”

“Ding ding!” Jared lifted one hand off the wheel, pointing at the ceiling of the car and making Alana grab at her seat in reaction. Zoe grabbed for the handle, but Connor seemed utterly unfazed, if only a little annoyed by the reactions. “He’s probably been sleeping all day, but I can guarantee that he hasn’t eaten at all when he’s awake.”

“And do you guys have anything for him to eat?”

“I managed to nick my keys this morning,” Connor mentioned. “So I skipped and went to get comfort food that wasn’t hella sugary.”

Zoe shot him a look and Connor leaned down, shuffling through a bag at his feet that Zoe hadn’t noticed when she had climbed in. Connor started listing off what he had bought, voice flat and monotone, as though he was trying his best to keep calm. “Soup, ramen, biscuits, gatorade. Jared said there’s probably rice at their house, and that’s easy enough to make.”

Connor sat back, turning his attention out the window, and they were quiet the rest of the way to the Hansen residence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> So I kinda fucked up posting the last chapter and accidentally posted them as one when they're actually meant to be two. Whoops. But hey, this chapter is a lil bit different!! 
> 
> \--> Evan is hurt and I feel really bad. 
> 
> \--> You guys should come scream with me on tumblr (@emberchii)


	5. great friends

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to pick the lock.”  Alana worried her lip between her teeth as Jared knelt down in front of the door leading into the Hansen household. 

“Nah,” Jared was moving side the leaves in the potted plant next to the door, moving some of the soil aside. “As cool as that would be, I know where they hide their key.” 

“Of course it’s in a plant,” Connor grumbled. 

Zoe flicked him in the ear, looking just a little more than slightly annoyed. “What the fuck is your problem today? You’re being moodier than usual.” 

Connor hissed, rubbing at his ear and twirling his stud, sending a dark glare at his sister. He folded his arms and didn’t respond even as Jared let out a triumphant noise, holding up a slightly dirty key.  Connor finally mumbled a quiet, “he didn’t answer any of my messages last night. I’m worried.” 

“Yeah, fine, but stop turning it into aggression.” Zoe frowned at him as Jared fiddled with the key, unlocking the door and stepping into the house. He stood out of the way, toeing off his shoes and leaving them neatly in the corner, and the other three teenagers followed suit. Connor just flat out sat down and unlaced his boots, leaving them at the end of the shoe line while Jared moved towards the kitchen. 

“Connor,” Jared paused before he could turn the corner, looking back to stare at the aforementioned teenager. “You know where Evan’s room is, yeah? Go see if he’s up there.” 

“What do we do?” Zoe demanded. “You two are here often, we have no idea what we’re doing.”

“You guys can chill in the living room if you want.” Jared shrugged, and then an idea seemed to come to mind. “Hey, ‘Lana, go with Connor to keep Evan from freaking out.” 

“And me?

“Help me figure out what fat pills we should give Evan when he stumbles back downstairs.” 

Zoe followed Jared into the kitchen and Alena followed Connor up the stairs. Connor was being exceptionally quiet as he moved through the house, looking cautiously into rooms until he came to a stop in front of a door that had a few tree stickers on it. Alana quickly decided that was Evan’s room, and Connor twisted the knob and opened the door. 

The room was incredibly clean. The desk was organized neatly with the exception of a few stray papers and a few pencils scattered everywhere. The walls were blue and the furniture was white, and on the top of one of the dressers sat a few different photos and crumbled up papers, and an open book sat on the night stand with dog-eared pages. 

The bed had a blue comforter, and beneath that comforter was a vaguely Evan-shaped lump. Alana quirked an eyebrow as Connor crossed the room on silent, socked feet. 

And then stuck his hands on Evan’s neck. 

There was a warbled, panicked noise as Evan jerked away, throwing an arm out as his eyes snapped open. He sat up in a hurry and his head cracked against Connor’s, sending Evan toppling backwards and Connor onto the ground, holding his head and whining. Evan sat up, looking a mixture of flustered and embarrassed.

“C-Connor?! Oh my god, I’m sorry, that must have hurt I’m so sor---” Evan cut himself off abruptly. “ _ Connor? _ ” 

“Jesus christ, Evan, your skull must be made out of  _ steel _ ,” Connor looked up at him through a gleam of tears, brought on by the unexpected collision, but Evan had turned his attention to Alana. 

“Alana? Y-you’re here too?” Evan’s brow furrowed, his brain still trying to catch up considering he was woken up rather abruptly. And then, after a few moments, his face flushed red and he grabbed at his covers, yanking them over himself with a strangled noise. 

“Evan, come on out.” Alana went to grab at the covers, trying to gently pry them out of his hands, and Evan let out a loud noise of protest. 

“Hansen, come on.” Connor joined Alana and he managed to find a spot where Evan hadn’t tucked the covers, and he stuck his hands underneath them. “Get up, loser.” 

“Connor,” Alana frowned at him and Connor shrugged, quietly wrestling the sheets from Evan until he managed to pry open a big enough hole for him to stick his head under the covers.  There was a shuffle as Evan tried to back up as far from Connor as possible and Connor lunged forward, grabbing Evan and wrapping his arms around him to yank him backwards. 

Evan shrieked as Connor yanked him out from under the covers and the two tumbled onto the ground, landing with a groan, and Alana rested a hand on Evan’s back. 

“Are you okay?”  

“... Why are you guys here?” Evan finally asked. 

“Because we’re your friends, Hansen.” Connor sat up and Evan sat up as well, looking at him strangely. Connor got to his feet and he and Alana held out a hand in unison. Evan stared at them for a moment before looking up at them, and the two of them moved to grab Evan’s wrist (and elbow, in Connor’s case) and they helped him to his feet. Evan got quiet, staring at the floor, and the two could practically see the gears turning in his head. 

Connor pulled off his sweatshirt and dropped it over Evan’s head, tugging it down so that it wasn’t just around his shoulders, and Evan squeaked as his head popped out the top. He stared at Connor with wide eyes, as Connor helped him get his arms through the sleeves, and then Connor grabbed onto his hands. 

“C’mon, I think Jared is finding food and something for us to do.” Connor spoke. 

Alana reached forward and hugged Evan while Connor stood by, holding his hand, and when she pulled back she smiled at him wide and rested her hands on his shoulders. “We were worried about you, you know,” Alana patted his cheeks before withdrawing and going down the stairs. Connor tugged Evan along with him, and they met up with the other three downstairs. Jared had made ramen and biscuits and gotten out a package of Oreos, and Zoe was holding three mugs while Alana was holding two. 

“We have food and tea and I hooked up your Wii so we could play Mario Kart.” Jared spoke up, sending Evan a grin before he ushered everyone into the Hansen’s living room. Connor perched in the corner of the couch and gently tugged Evan down next to him, wrapping around him. Jared had set down the packages of Oreos and the plate of biscuits on the coffee table, and there were five mugs of what Evan saw were hot chocolate and tea, depending. Tea for Evan and Alana, hot chocolate for the other three. 

“Eat.” Jared handed Evan the bowl of ramen and a fork, and Connor buried his face in Evan’s shoulder while Zoe and Alana mentioned what Evan had missed at school. 

Once Evan had finished with the ramen (and also finished coughing because Alana made a really bad pun and he almost had broth go through his nose, he was laughing so hard) Jared shoved a Wii controller into Evan’s hands, and Evan’s expression shifted to one of determination. 

“Jared, I’m gonna kick your ass at this.” He sent a grin at Jared, who put a hand to his chest as though he was deeply offended. 

“Yeah right, Evan!” 

“I dunno about you guys, but Alana is going to wipe the floor with all of you.” Connor spoke up.

“Connor!” Zoe looked offended. 

“Connor, you’re my official favourite.” Alana laughed meanwhile Evan elbowed Connor and Jared glared at him. Evan picked a simple course and the four of them immediately fixated their attention on the screen. Soon enough there was yelling and absolute sabotage as they progressed through the races. Zoe tried to shove Alana off the loveseat, Jared purposefully blocked Evan’s field of vision, and Connor sat back and laughed his ass off all the while. 

They were working through the last race of that particular match --- Rainbow Road, because Evan and Alana were sadists --- and Connor buried his face in the back of Evan’s neck. 

Evan shrugged Connor off, attention focused on the screen as the countdown finished and he and Alana took off. Jared fell off the edge near immediately and Zoe was doing fairly good…

But Evan and Alana were whooping ass. 

Connor dropped his chin on Evan’s shoulder, ignoring Jared’s shrieks of obscenities, and he tightened his grip around Evan for half a moment. 

Alana let out an unhappy, “Evan, hell no,” as Evan passed her and usurped her throne of first place, and Connor hummed. 

“Hey, Alana?” 

“Yeah?” Alana kept her focus on the screen while Zoe muttered under her breath, and Connor hummed again.

“How much do you want first place?” 

Alana threw him a look for half a second and Evan shifted away from him, as though he knew that Connor was about to be the absolute worst. 

“A lot. Why?” 

“If I help you get first, will you buy me a Monster?” 

“Sure.” Alana nodded, as though that was a fair compromise. 

Connor nodded. “The contract has been sealed. Sorry, Evan.” 

“Dude what the hell are you going to do?” Jared looked over at Connor, having given up winning this particular stage, and Connor winked at him. 

And Evan’s piercing scream filled the room as Connor stuck his hands up under Evan’s shirt, pressing cold hands against Evan’s stomach. 

Zoe dropped her controller and almost toppled off the couch, wheezing in laughter as Alana sped across the finish line in first place, and Evan continued to shriek and attempt to jerk away from Connor as the lankier boy tickled him. 

“Connor!” Evan pleaded, “Oh my god, stop, don’t---” Evan shrieked again and twisted away from Connor, and the room was full of laughter as Evan tried his best to escape Connor’s freezing fingers, and eventually Connor got a foot to the stomach and rolled off of the couch and onto the floor, wheezing from laughter. 

They ended up ordering pizza and talking until well after the sun had gone down, going between other video games with a less competitive edge to really bad Wii games that Jared and Evan had collected over the years. 

They were all sprawled out across the couches again, browsing their phones, when Evan spoke up. 

“Thank you, guys.” 

“Huh?” Zoe looked over to where Evan was curled up with Connor in his lep, scrolling through his phone. 

“Thanks.” Evan repeated, flushing pink. 

“It’s not a problem,” Connor waved his hands. “You have Kleinman to thank, anyways.” 

“Oh, really?” Evan looked over at Jared, who was pointedly staring at his phone and not making eye contact. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get mushy on me, Evan, I’m just doin’ what good friends do.” 

“Sure.” Evan smiled and went back to playing with Connor’s hair.

 

…

 

_ >>> _ **_cryptidshit_ ** _ has added  _ **_anxietyincarnate_ ** _ to the chatroom _

 

**anxietyincarnate:** I love you guys. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> This one has pretty much no chatroom format until the end, honestly. But we'll be back to regularly scheduled chatroom as of next chapter!!!
> 
> \--> I really like this chapter and I also have no self control, so... yeah, it ended up getting posted WAY before I planned. And, as such... There might not be an update tomorrow, since I like to stay at least three chapters ahead of the game with writing these types of stories. So, whether or not there is a chapter tomorrow is dependent on how much work I get done tonight and tomorrow.
> 
> \--> comments make my day!!
> 
> \--> Come yell at me on tumblr! (@emberchii)


	6. murphys are spiteful

**teenageangst™:** guess who lost their door

 **teenageangst™:** again

 **teenageangst™:** gdi

 **zoemonster:** This is why your weed stash shouldn’t be in your room dude

 **anxietyincarnate:** You managed to get your door taken away.

 **anxietyincarnate:** I know I haven’t met them, but I don’t think I like your parents.

 **teenageangst™:** theyr just gettin their panties in a twist

 **teenageangst™:** its pissing me off

 **teenageangst™:** not their problem i do pot

 **zoemonster:** Well actually it kind of is

 **zoemonster:** Youre their kid, so…

 **teenageangst™:** zo dont take their side

 **anxietyincarnate:** I don’t really like you doing pot, but I’m not really going to stop you.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Yes, they’re your parents, but

 **futuremspresident:** They took your door again?!

 **futuremspresident:** God damn it, this is why I don’t like your parents.

 **futuremspresident:** Give your kids privacy.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Agreed.

 **anxietyincarnate:** Privacy is important.

 **cryptidshit:** esp for a teenage boy

 **cryptidshit:** does your bathroom have a door?

 **teenageangst™:** yea, bc zo and i share

 **cryptidshit:** ok so then thats not the worst

 **zoemonster:** Are you implying what i think youre implying?

 **teenageangst™:** zo im a teenager

 **teenageangst™:** i cant rly get off when my room doesnt have a door

 **anxietyincarnate:** Why must you and Jared always be on the same wavelength.

 **cryptidshit:** ev you cant tell me you dont j.o

 **teenageangst™:** ill think of u, hansen ;)

 **anxietyincarnate:** Stop.

 **zoemonster:** Ewewewewewewewew

 **zoemonster:** That’s a mental image I didn’t need or want.

 **futuremspresident:** Jesus, this is why I don’t like boys.

 **teenageangst™:** yea u like my sister

 **futuremspresident:** Sure. And you like Evan.

 **teenageangst™:** i dont just like evan

 **teenageangst™:** i adore evan

 **teenageangst™:** excuse u

 **futuremspresident:** Well, you’re certainly good at showing it.

 **teenageangst™:** hell yea

 **teenageangst™:** theres a reason im flirting w/ him constantly

 **anxietyincarnate:** You’ve been flirting with me?

 **cryptidshit:** oh my god evan

 **teenageangst™:** have been for six months, but thanks for noticing

 **zoemonster:** Evan. have you really not noticed?

 **anxietyincarnate:** Um.

 **anxietyincarnate:** No?

 **futuremspresident:** Evan, how have you not noticed?

 **cryptidshit:** he flat out said hed bang you dude

 **anxietyincarnate:** …

 **anxietyincarnate:** _ >>>this message has been deleted _

**teenageangst™:** wait wait wait

 **teenageangst™:** hansen are u FUCKING serious

 **teenageangst™:** u thought that was ‘friendly’?????

 **anxietyincarnate:** I didn’t really think about it, okay?

 **anxietyincarnate:** So it wasn’t really obvious to me.

 **cryptidshit:** it was real fuckin obvious to everyone else

 **zoemonster:** I’m dying. evan youve killed me.

 **teenageangst™:** “friendly”

 **teenageangst™:** “”””””””friendly”””””””””

 **teenageangst™:** jfc hansen

 **anxietyincarnate:** Leave me alone! People don’t like me!! Ever!!

 **teenageangst™:** hansen i adore u

 **teenageangst™:** u kno that

 **teenageangst™:** u better fuckin kno that

 **anxietyincarnate:** Well, yeah.

 **anxietyincarnate:** I, uh. I guess I didn’t really entertain the idea that my best friend liked me?

 **teenageangst™:** oh

 **teenageangst™:** my god

 **cryptidshit:** hes your bff? Im insulted

 **cryptidshit:** also not surprised

 **anxietyincarnate:** Whoops?

 

…

 

 **teenageangst™:** do u bite ur thumb @ us, sir?

 **futuremspresident:** I do bite my thumb, sir.

 **teenageangst™:** do u bite ur thumb @ us, sir?

 **futuremspresident:** Is the law on my side if I say ay?

 **teenageangst™:** no

 **futuremspresident:** No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you sir.

 **futuremspresident:** But I bite my thumb, sir.

 **teenageangst™:** do u quarrel sir?

 **futuremspresident:** Quarrel, sir? No sir.

 **futuremspresident:** If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.

 **teenageangst™:** no better

 **futuremspresident:** Well, sir

 **teenageangst™:** DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR

 **futuremspresident:** DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

 **teenageangst™:** DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURTYARD, WITH HASTE!

 **cryptidshit:** what even is this

 **teenageangst™:** alana and i r doin a proj in english

 **cryptidshit:** and?

 **futuremspresident:** And Connor was high when we were working on it, and he started saying this masterpiece.

 **futuremspresident:** We’re going to present it to the class.

 **cryptidshit:** holy shit

 **teenageangst™:** right??

 **teenageangst™:** high me is a genius

 **futuremspresident:** I kind of agree.

 **teenageangst™:** u totes agree

 **cryptidshit:** i thought you got your weed stash taken away?

 **teenageangst™:** nah i just put it in my pocket when they found it

 **teenageangst™:** i told them i would chuck it

 **cryptidshit:** your parents are gullible as fuck, dude

 **teenageangst™:** cynthia is

 **teenageangst™:** fuckin larry just ignores me

 **teenageangst™:** its awesome

 **futuremspresident:** Not really awesome, but whatever floats your boat I suppose.

 **teenageangst™:** hey where is hansen??

 **teenageangst™:** zos asleep so i kno where she is

 **cryptidshit:** hes with me

 **cryptidshit:** my parents arent around so we’re drinking

 **cryptidshit:** and i took evans phone so he didnt say something hed regret

 **futuremspresident:** How drunk is he?

 **cryptidshit:** ive been listening to him wax poetic about connors jawline for like three minutes now

 **cryptidshit:** hes crying because connors hair “is so pretty and really soft”

 **cryptidshit:** he really likes your manbun, dude

 **teenageangst™:** why r u gettin hansen drunk?

 **cryptidshit:** because hes been stressed out and drunk evan is a fun time

 **cryptidshit:** though hes acting gayer than normal which doesnt surprise me

 **cryptidshit:** god damn it give me a second

 **teenageangst™:**???

 **cryptidshit:** [VID_291.mov]

 **teenageangst™:** omg

 **futuremspresident:** Is he crying?

 **futuremspresident:** Oh my god, he’s crying about Connor.

 **teenageangst™:** i like drunk hansen

 **teenageangst™:** this is like 5min of him just talking abt me

 **teenageangst™:** im in heaven

 **futuremspresident:** Connor, that is really gay.

 **futuremspresident:** Like, you’re normally pretty gay, but that takes the cake.

 **cryptidshit:** dude are you drooling over drunk evan

 **teenageangst™:** not drooling

 **cryptidshit:** you aren't jerking off to this are you

 **teenageangst™:** what kind of sicko do u think i am?

 **teenageangst™:** but im not

 **teenageangst™:** even if i was that's weird to say in chat

 **cryptidshit:** ok ev has moved on to talking about your eyes

 **futuremspresident:** Jared?

 **cryptidshit:** yeah?

 **futuremspresident:** Aren’t you drunk too?

 **cryptidshit:** i have had one (1) glass and it was mixed

 **cryptidshit:** evs had like four

 **futuremspresident:** Just don’t get him sick, please.

 **cryptidshit:** im gonna cut him off soon

 **cryptidshit:** if he pukes and then finds out he pukes hes gonna cry

 **teenageangst™:** question

 **teenageangst™:** what is his deal with puking

 **cryptidshit:** do you like throwing up?

 **teenageangst™:** ew no

 **cryptidshit:** neither does he

 **cryptidshit:** like

 **cryptidshit:** he threw up once at a sleepover when we were like ten and he went home crying because he felt horrible

 **cryptidshit:** he also says its because it makes him feel dizzy after

 **teenageangst™:** huh

 **teenageangst™:** good 2 kno

 **teenageangst™:** another ?

 **teenageangst™:** is ev allergic to anything?

 **cryptidshit:** PEANUTS

 **cryptidshit:** do not

 **cryptidshit:** for the LOVE OF GOD

 **cryptidshit:** EVER give him peanuts

 **cryptidshit:** legit he’d die

 **teenageangst™:** …

 **teenageangst™:** hansen has gone 17+ years

 **teenageangst™:** w/out ever having peanut butter??

 **cryptidshit:** he had it as a baby prob

 **cryptidshit:** first time he ever went to the hospital

 **cryptidshit:** he can smell it and be around it but if he ingests it

 **cryptidshit:** fuckin

 **cryptidshit:** RIP

 **futuremspresident:** This makes me so glad that I’m not allergic to anything.

 **cryptidshit:** lucky

 **teenageangst™:** zoes allergic to mangos and she is livid

 **teenageangst™:** im allergic to crawfish apparently

 **cryptidshit:** damn dude i just cant deal with pollen

 **cryptidshit:** allergy season is the worst and i am frequently sick

 **teenageangst™:** allergies havent stopped zoe

 **teenageangst™:** 1 time we were @ a friends house

 **teenageangst™:** i was like 12, b4 i went batshit

 **teenageangst™:** zo was like 10

 **teenageangst™:** and our friend had mangos

 **teenageangst™:** they made like smoothies i think

 **teenageangst™:** and zoe

 **teenageangst™:** being the spiteful shit she is

 **teenageangst™:** she goes to her backpack

 **teenageangst™:** grabs her epipen

 **teenageangst™:** and she comes back

 **teenageangst™:** takes my smoothie

 **teenageangst™:** stares @ me

 **cryptidshit:** oh my god

 **teenageangst™:** and fucking CHUGS THE SMOOTHIE

 **teenageangst™:** STABS HERSELF WITH HER EPIPEN

 **teenageangst™:** hands me my cup

 **teenageangst™:** “connor call 911”

 **teenageangst™:** goes 2 puke in the bathroom

 **futuremspresident:** Zoe, good god.

 **teenageangst™:** we r a fam of spiteful assholes

 **zoemonster:** Are you telling the mango story?

 **teenageangst™:** yes i am

 **teenageangst™:** and zoe

 **teenageangst™:** ‘why did you do that?’

 **zoemonster:** BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THATS WHY

 **cryptidshit:** well this has been elightening

 **cryptidshit:** i gotta go

 **cryptidshit:** before ev gets any more drunk

 **cryptidshit:** byeeee

 **zoemonster:** Bye? evan is drunk?

 **teenageangst™:** bye loser

 **futuremspresident:** Bye Jared. Keep Evan safe, will you?

 **cryptidshit:** yes mom

 **zoemonster:** “mom”

 **futuremspresident:** Don’t you even start, Zoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> hey, we're back to the standard chatroom format!! Yay!!!
> 
> \--> tbh i didnt expect to get anything done today but i have tomorrows chapter done and the next couple at least fleshed out, so I could probably finish those. Remember when i said this would be a rollercoaster? Yeah, y'all get happy fluff for a few chapters and then theres a shitstorm on the horizon. 
> 
> \--> Come to talk to me on tumblr! @emberchii!
> 
> \--> I love Alana.


	7. sneaking out and ihop

**teenageangst™:** i can die happy now

**futuremspresident:** What happened?

**teenageangst™:** evan hansen kissed me

**teenageangst™:** im like

**teenageangst™:** a mixture of

**teenageangst™:** gdi idek

**teenageangst™:** im like euphoric

**futuremspresident:** He kissed you?

**teenageangst™:** YEP

**teenageangst™:** IM IN HEAVEN

**futuremspresident:** I find that hard to believe. Evan Hansen, the most anxious boy in our grade, made the first move? 

**zoemonster:** ARE YOU AT HIS HOUSE?!?!

**zoemonster:** CONNOR THE PARENTS ARE PISSED.

**zoemonster:** YOU ESCAPED OUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOW.

**teenageangst™:** no

**teenageangst™:** i broke the lock on my window

**teenageangst™:** i escaped out UR window

**teenageangst™:** i left bc fucking larry has a stick up his ass

**teenageangst™:** and i told ev id ry to not smoke

**teenageangst™:** and im sick of patching up the drywall

**zoemonster:** You still ran away!!!!

**zoemonster:** Larry is going to KILL you

**teenageangst™:** either he kills me or i kill myself

**teenageangst™:** end result is the same

**futuremspresident:** Don’t joke about that, please.

**teenageangst™:** lana im bein serious

**teenageangst™:** but lemme go back to being happy

**teenageangst™:** evan is asleep on me rn and its so????

**teenageangst™:** hes so cute

**teenageangst™:** he snores

**teenageangst™:** its adorable

**zoemonster:** Youre being really gay right now

**teenageangst™:** duh

**teenageangst™:** if i focus on ev being cute then im not focusing on how much i want to die

**teenageangst™:** win/win

**zoemonster:** Okaaaaaaaay

**zoemonster:** How did you convince evan to kiss you?

**teenageangst™:** i didnt??

**teenageangst™:** i was just ranting for a while

**teenageangst™:** after i climbed through his window

**teenageangst™:** and when i was done ranting we just kinda sat there together for a while

**teenageangst™:** and we were holding hands

**teenageangst™:** and i kissed his knuckles

**teenageangst™:** btw flustered evan is adorable

**teenageangst™:** and he just kisses me

**teenageangst™:** and im dead now

**zoemonster:** Sounds like a romcom

**teenageangst™:** right??? 

**teenageangst™:** he had me sing to him too

**zoemonster:** You hate singing, how

**teenageangst™:** bc im weak

**zoemonster:** Hell yeah you are

**zoemonster:** Still not introducing him to the parents?

**teenageangst™:** ffs no are u crazy

**teenageangst™:** fucking larry will throw a fit

**futuremspresident:** Zoe tells me he’s homophobic? 

**teenageangst™:** greatly

**teenageangst™:** didnt take kindly to me being gay

**teenageangst™:** prob wont take kindly to zoe being bi

**teenageangst™:** i get why ur on the down-low

**zoemonster:** You keep insisting that were dating, stop

**teenageangst™:** jfc zo, im not gonna tell the parents 

**teenageangst™:** yeah im an asshole but ur my SISTER

**teenageangst™:** fuckin larrys not gonna touch u so long as im around

**zoemonster:** Thats… weirdly sweet

**teenageangst™:** so feel free to be mushy and gay around us

**teenageangst™:** idc that u have a gf

**cryptidshit:** lmao im the only single one here

**teenageangst™:** nah

**teenageangst™:** evan and i r

**teenageangst™:** i called dibs tho

**cryptidshit:** dude i dont want evan trust me

**cryptidshit:** hes like my brother

**cryptidshit:** i get annoyed with him but like

**cryptidshit:** id rather be with him than my own fam

**cryptidshit:** he and heidi are the greatest

**teenageangst™:** truth

**teenageangst™:** heidi came in earlier to see evan asleep on me

**teenageangst™:** i was so sure i was gonna get my butt beat

**teenageangst™:** she just warned me that ev flails in his sleep

**teenageangst™:** and told me goodnight

**zoemonster:** I want heidi to be my new mom

**futuremspresident:** So, as I’m sure that your parents aren’t in the greatest mood…

**futuremspresident:** Zoe, would you like to come stay the night? 

**zoemonster:** PLEASE

**teenageangst™:** b safe

**cryptishit:** use protection

**futuremspresident:** Jared?

**cryptidshit:** yeah?

**futuremspresident:** Shut the fuck up, please.

**zoemonster:** babe i love you

**cryptidshit:** wow, now that youre not worried about connor youre incredibly open about this

**cryptidshit:** gross

 

…

 

**teenageangst™:** guess who got another kiss

**teenageangst™:** meeeeeeeeee

**teenageangst™:** im never leaving the hansen household

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, if you want me to kiss you, just ask. 

**teenageangst™:** but i always want you to kiss me

**anxietyincarnate:** Oh goodness.

**teenageangst™:** [IMG_918.jpg]

**teenageangst™:** bLUSHY HANSEN

**teenageangst™:** CUTE

**cryptidshit:** OH MY GOD JUST FUCK ALREADY

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared!!!!!!!!

**cryptidshit:** THERE IS SO MUCH TENSION, JUST BANG

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, stooooooooopp.

**anxietyincarnate:** please.

**cryptidshit:** >:/

**teenageangst™:** i wouldnt be opposed

**anxietyincarnate:** I would be!!!!!

**teenageangst™:** fair enough

**zoemonster:** Will you all please stop talking about my brothers sex life?? 

**zoemonster:** Especially if its with evan, i dont wanna think about connor defiling him

**teenageangst™:** zoe omg

**anxietyincarnate:** … I feel like you guys think I’m far more pure than I actually am…

**zoemonster:** Probably

**cryptidshit:** ev is not innocent

**cryptidshit:** dont let that doe-eyed exterior fool you

**cryptidshit:** evan threatened to shove me out of a tree last week, broken arm or not, bc i jokingly said i was gonna carve our initials into it

**anxietyincarnate:** Don’t touch the fucking trees, Jared.

**futuremspresident:** Why are you not in the environmental club? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Anxiety?

**futuremspresident:** You would be such a great spokesperson. And there’s like three of us. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Could I maybe, y’know, not? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Wait. 

**anxietyincarnate:** “Us”?

**anxietyincarnate:** You’re in the environmental club??

**zoemonster:** Shes in pretty much everything ev. its the reason for her sparse freetime.

**teenageangst™:** someones jealous

**zoemonster:** Nah, i have a life

**zoemonster:** Jazzband wont do itself

**anxietyincarnate:** When’s your next concert?

**zoemonster:** Next month? Why?

**anxietyincarnate:** >>>this message has been deleted

**teenageangst™:** ev stfu

**anxietyincarnate:** >>>this message has been deleted

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, stop it!!

**zoemonster:** Bro i can see the messages when they pop up in my notifs

**zoemonster:** If you wanted to come to my concerts just tell me

**teenageangst™:** THATS NOT THE REASON BTFU

**futuremspresident:** Well, that’s a new one. 

**cryptidshit:** awwwwww, big brother connor shows his true colours!

**teenageangst™:** stfu kleinman

**cryptidshit:** we’re friends, arent we? are you ever gonna call me by my name? 

**teenageangst™:** no

**cryptidshit:** well fuck you too then

**anxietyincarnate:** Hey Jared, mom has the morning off, she wants to know if you want to come to IHOP. 

**cryptishit:** fuck yeah i wanna go to ihop

**cryptidshit:** gimme those smileyface pancakes

**teenageangst™:** kleinman u r an actual manchild

**zoemonster:** Pancakes are pancakes connor

**cryptidshit:** wait is murphy coming with us? 

**teenageangst™:** duh?

**anxietyincarnate:** Mom is attached, so yes. She’s also convinced that he’s my boyfriend. 

**cryptidshit:** i can hear your conversation from my house jfc

**zoemonster:** $5 says connor said ‘wait im not?” 

**anxietyincarnate:** That’s exactly what he said.

**anxietyincarnate:** I told him that I wanted to go on dates and he calmed down. 

**teenageangst™:** calling dibs

**teenageangst™:** its on record

**teenageangst™:** im gonna woo the fuck out of evan

**cryptidshit:** god damn it, did you just say woo? 

**cryptidshit:** im gonna be gagging on my pancakes

**cryptidshit:** you two are going to be disgusting

**zoemonster:** Im gonna go back to kissing my girlfriend now, you guys have fun at ihop

**cryptidshit:** GOD IM SURROUNDED BY NASTY COUPLES

**anxietyincarnate:** Mom will be there, so Connor can’t really do anything. 

**teenageangst™:** fuck

**cryptidshit:** good.

**cryptidshit:** be over in five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> Hey guys!! You have no idea how much your comments have meant to me!! I love getting updates to you guys and you're all so supportive!!! And, now that I've said that, I'm getting ready for a big competition next week and so updates are going to be coming SIGNIFICANTLY slower than the day-to-day updates you guys have been getting. Nothing personal, I'm just going to be really busy and I want to give you guys the best quality I can!! 
> 
> \--> So this fic is really lighthearted, and I've seen the discord around and so I'm trying to tread lightly (although you guys have been super supportive legit ily all), but I feel like I should point out WHY I'm not really addressing Connor's mental illness right now. Mainly, it's because I've been doing some research and I need to figure out exactly how to write it, but i do plan on addressing it. Connor here is very "cheerful" (its meant to be sarcastic), but I've been modelling the chatroom group after me and my own friends, so I'm approaching it weirdly. I personally really like Connor with BPD, and so I'm trying to portray that, but rest assured that his mental illness isn't "gone" and Evan won't "fix him". This isn't really clear, i don't think, but you guys get the gist of it.
> 
> \--> Also, I'm really open w/ Evan's anxiety bc I have anxiety and I'm really sarcastic when _I_ talk about it, so Evan just does the same.
> 
> \--> Please leave comments! They make me so happy!!
> 
> \--> Come talk to me on tumblr! @emberchii


	8. graduation, adoration, frustration

**zoemonster:** It occurred to me that you guys are gonna graduate

**zoemonster:** And at first i was kind of offended at the idea of being left behind

**zoemonster:** And then i realized im gonna be really fucking bored when you guys go to college

**zoemonster:** Connor has been looking at colleges and its……

**zoemonster:** Uncomfortable, i guess? 

**zoemonster:** Like we’re only a year apart so im used to having my brother around

**zoemonster:** Even when he’s being a raging dickbag

**zoemonster:** Its gonna be uncomfortable when you guys all leave

**zoemonster:** You fuckers better come visit me

**zoemonster:** Especially you, Alana

**zoemonster:** Con, if i have to, ill visit you at the ice cream shop off of the highway bc the parents wont follow me there

**zoemonster:** Jared if you dont show up at lush at least once a month to steal a bathbomb, im going to be concerned

**zoemonster:** Ev, keep an eye on broski

**zoemonster:** You guys arent going to be graduating for another

**zoemonster:** Seven months? 

**zoemonster:** But if something happens and we suddenly arent friends

**zoemonster:** Imma kick all of your asses

**zoemonster:** Starting with my skinny bitch brother

**zoemonster:** Jk, love you connor

**zoemonster:** I should sleep before fucking larry comes upstairs

 

…

 

**anxietyincarnate:** Zoe, are you alright? 

**zoemonster:** Besides being fucking exhausted? Im good

**teenageangst™:** that was 1 hell of a lil rant there, sis

**teenageangst™:** kudos

**zoemonster:** Shut up yo

**zoemonster:** I meant the whole beating the shit out of you guys thing

**zoemonster:** Ill crack my skateboard over your heads. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Well, I’ll be around at least. 

**teenageangst™:** ?

**anxietyincarnate:** Unless I get a full ride, which I won’t because Alana is the only one here who is amazing enough to get one, I need to save up money for college. 

**anxietyincarnate:** I don’t have parents who can pay for me to go to school.

**teenageangst™:** tbh im just going 2 the community college 4 shop classes

**teenageangst™:** its cheap its nearby and i get to dick around w/ machinery

**teenageangst™:** livin the dream

**teenageangst™:** so zo

**teenageangst™:** ev and i will b around

**teenageangst™:** ur gf is gonna b off being the next einstein

**teenageangst™:** but u can deal w/ ur shitty brother and his adorb bf

**zoemonster:** I thought you two weren't dating?

**anxietyincarnate:** Eventual boyfriend. 

**zoemonster:** Ah

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor insists that he’s going to make me fall in love with him. 

**teenageangst™:** and i will

**anxietyincarnate:** You don’t need to? I told you this?

**anxietyincarnate:** I already care about you a lot, you don't need to worry about it. 

**zoemonster:** At first i was grateful you guys would be around but if i have to see another year of you two being mushy im taking it back

**teenageangst™:** evan gives me the dokis

**cryptidshit:** you are such a fucking meme

**zoemonster:** “dokis”

**cryptidshit:** connor you fucking weeabo

**teenageangst™:** the only anime iv ever seen is dbz

**teenageangst™:** legit

**cryptidshit:** where tf did you learn the word dokis then??

**teenageangst™:** twitter?

**anxietyincarnate:** This went from us to consoling Zoe to you two bickering about anime really quickly. 

**futuremspresident:** I’m the only one here who watches anime I’m pretty sure. 

**futuremspresident:** Also, Zoe! I’ve found a lot of online screen-sharing and video chat sites, so we can have kind-of dates while I’m off at school! 

**zoemonster:** bABE

**zoemonster:** I LOVE YOU

**teenageangst™:** and we cant b mushy???? 

**zoemonster:** Alana is better than all of you. 

**zoemonster:** Im going to fawn over my beautiful girlfriend and you cant stop me

**anxietyincarnate:** I won’t stop you. It’s cute.

**teenageangst™:** its gross

**cryptidshit:** ^^^^^

**cryptidshit:** i suddenly wish connor didnt have dibs on evan

**cryptidshit:** being the only one without a so is weird

**anxietyincarnate:** Aren’t you talking to someone right now? 

**cryptidshit:** yeah im talking to you losers

**anxietyincarnate:** That’s not what i meant and you know it.

**teenageangst™:** is kleinman getting laid?

**zoemonster:** Do they go to our school?

**cryptidshit:** no and no

**cryptidshit:** im just

**cryptidshit:** talking to this girl

**cryptidshit:** shes really sweet and kind of ditzy

**cryptidshit:** and also has some mental health issues and has gone through some fucked up shit

**anxietyincarnate:** She’ll fit right in. 

**futuremspresident:** Evan, goodness. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared talks about her a lot. So.

**cryptidshit:** stop calling me out like this bro

**cryptidshit:** we actually go against their high school sometimes

**cryptidshit:** westerburg is a fucked up place dudes

**zoemonster:** their band sucks ass

**futuremspresident:** What’s her name? I might know her.

**cryptidshit:** i dont want you guys to know her!! thatd be creepy!!!!!

**anxietyincarnate:** Heather.

**cryptidshit:** hansen im going to murder you

**futuremspresident:** Um. 

**futuremspresident:** Last name? 

**cryptidshit:** well damn now that the cat absolutely demolished the bag, i guess i have to tell you

**cryptidshit:** heather macnamara

**cryptidshit:** shes the head cheerleader and has social anxiety

**cryptidshit:** weve had coffee a few times

**anxietyincarnate:** He refuses to ask her out.

**cryptidshit:** shes fawning over a girl who has a boyfriend

**cryptidshit:** leave me alone

**teenageangst™:** those names are fucking weirdly familiar

**teenageangst™:** i kno a dude who goes there tho

**teenageangst™:** see him at 7/11 sometimes

**teenageangst™:** hes even more fucked up than me

**teenageangst™:** jd i think? 

**zoemonster:** Its weird to think connor knows people aside from us

**teenageangst™:** excuse u

**teenageangst™:** him, mell, and i talk sometimes

**teenageangst™:** theyr stoner buddies

**futuremspresident:** Mell? Stoner buddies? Connor, you’re going to get in trouble.

**teenageangst™:** rnt i already?

**teenageangst™:** jd just smokes, he doesnt do pot

**teenageangst™:** mell and i have the same dealer

**cryptidshit:** alright we dont need to know any more about your stoner orgy buddies

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, good god. 

**zoemonster:** Its official i hate all of you

**zoemonster:** Except alana, shes an exception

 

…

 

_ >>>Private message;  **zoemonster** / **anxietyincarnate** _

 

**zoemonster:** How

**anxietyincarnate:** Uh. That’s not very specific…

**zoemonster:** It wasnt, yeah

**zoemonster:** I just saw you and connor in the hall today

**zoemonster:** And im both grateful and confused

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m kind of confused at the moment. 

**zoemonster:** You just

**zoemonster:** I have never seen anyone in my entire life handle connor like you do

**zoemonster:** And i have never seen anyone make him as happy as you do

**zoemonster:** And you two are so like

**zoemonster:** Disgustingly in love

**zoemonster:** I cant help but compare you and con to me and alana

**anxietyincarnate:** Don’t. Don’t compare your relationship to ours.

**anxietyincarnate:** You and Alana have a relationship that is very different from Connor and I’s.

**anxietyincarnate:** Don’t compare. It will cause problems later.

**zoemonster:** Ok, wont do that then.

**zoemonster:** Im still going to thank you

**anxietyincarnate:** For what??

**zoemonster:** Loving my brother? 

**zoemonster:** Its just. different. and i cant help but be kind of jealous.

**zoemonster:** You and con fit so perfectly

**zoemonster:** Meanwhile im just. 

**zoemonster:** Alana is amazing.

**zoemonster:** And like so far out of my league im not sure why she puts up with me

**anxietyincarnate:** Because she loves you? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Alana looks at you like you put the stars in the sky.

**anxietyincarnate:** You adore her and she adores you, and I’m sure you’ll be fine. 

**zoemonster:** Youre a godsend u know that

**zoemonster:** …

**zoemonster:** Evan

**zoemonster:** do you love my brother? 

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m.

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m not sure. I don’t know.

**anxietyincarnate:** But I feel safe. He makes me feel safe. And sometimes he upsets me because I see the things he does to himself and the way that he cuts everyone off and it's frustrating, but I care about him and I want to be there for him. I want to be able to hold his hand when he needs someone to ground him. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor reminds me of home, and I care about him. 

**anxietyincarnate:** And I don’t get butterflies when he’s around and I don’t get nervous anymore, but I care about him. A lot.

**anxietyincarnate:** Sorry, that was probably a little much. 

**zoemonster:** No no no youre good

**zoemonster:** You just took a lot of weight off my shoulders

**zoemonster:** Thanks. goodnight

**anxietyincarnate:** Okay? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Goodnight, Zoe.

_ >>>Private message: **END** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---> Here's a quick chapter for you guys!!! I'm not sure why I decided I liked the idea of Jared talking to one of the heathers, but I've been reading a lot of crossover stuff lately and I love the possible dynamics of a friendship with JD, Connor, and Michael. Just me. 
> 
> \---> Comments make my day! And as for those of you who are like "this is cute and i was expecting angst"... soon....yall can have fun with that one
> 
> \---> Come talk to me on tumblr! @emberchii


	9. the mental illness chapter

_ >>>Private message;  _ **_cryptidshit_ ** _ / _ **_anxietyincarnate_ **

 

**cryptidshit:** you know how to do this romance shit

**cryptidshit:** i need help

**anxietyincarnate:** ???

**anxietyincarnate:** First Zoe, and now you?? Why do all of you think I’m this professional romantic??

**cryptidshit:** because you and connor are disgustingly cute

**anxietyincarnate:** Oh my GOD. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Just because we’re “cute” doesn’t mean the relationship is sunshine and rainbows, dude!

**cryptidshit:** then at least let me rant!!

**anxietyincarnate:** That is something I’m good at. Rant away. 

**cryptidshit:** okay so heather

**cryptidshit:** im kind of dying right now?

**cryptidshit:** we were talking

**cryptidshit:** and we kind of ended up taking a dark turn and i tried to laugh it off

**cryptidshit:** because you know i dont like talking about the shit that goes on in my head

**cryptidshit:** and i just feel horrid. because she was telling me about how bad her anxiety gets? 

**cryptidshit:** and i can deal with anxiety, im friends with you, but hers is different from yours

**cryptidshit:** because unlike you, she has eyes on her

**cryptidshit:** constantly

**cryptidshit:** and i fucked up and said something wrong

**cryptidshit:** and now i think shes starting to realize that im not nearly as cool as i make myself out to be

**cryptidshit:** and so i panicked and essentially ran away

**cryptidshit:** and she keeps messaging me and i cant bring myself to say anything back

**cryptidshit:** i hate it

**anxietyincarnate:** You’re panicking because you accidentally broke your persona? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, you’re really not that bad. 

**cryptidshit:** yes!! i am!!! theres a reason i pretend to be cool!!

**anxietyincarnate:** Any chance of you being cool died when you kept hanging out with me in high school, Jared.

**anxietyincarnate:** Just. Go talk to her, I guess? I’m not the person to give advice, but uh…

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared, you’re one of my favourite people. Yeah, you’re kind of dorky, and your coping mechanisms and deflection skills make you be an asshole sometimes, but you’re not as bad of a person as you seem to think.

**anxietyincarnate:** Also? Who gives a fuck if you're cool? 

**anxietyincarnate:** If someone cares about you, they'll care about you regardless of the person you are. 

**cryptidshit:** how is it you manage to be all mature and shit like this and yet have panic attack because you think everyone hates you

**anxietyincarnate:** Logically, I know that there are people that care about me (now). Anxiety doesn't really listen to logic. 

**anxietyincarnate:** So, go talk to Heather? She’s probably concerned. 

**cryptidshit:** mmmmmmmmmMMMMM

**cryptidshit:** fine

**cryptidshit:** ...

**cryptidshit:** thanks evan

**anxietyincarnate:** Good luck!

 

_ >>>Private message:  _ **_END_ **

 

**zoemonster:** Connor punched through a wall and larry locked him in his room

**zoemonster:** I feel horrible for him

**cryptidshit:** how do you lock someone in their room??

**cryptidshit:** wait connor doesnt have a door

**cryptidshit:** ???

**zoemonster:** Brute force

**zoemonster:** Larry flat out threw him

**anxietyincarnate:** Oh my god

**anxietyincarnate:** Is he okay??

**zoemonster:** Physically, fine

**zoemonster:** Mentally, absolutely not

**zoemonster:** Also, when i said “his room” i meant the basement

**zoemonster:** There arent any doors down there and there's a single window that doesn't open? 

**zoemonster:** Con is locked in there.

**cryptidshit:** what the fuck is wrong with your parents

**zoemonster:** Larry thinks that connor does everything he does to get attention and not because he's mentally ill

**futuremspresident:** That is not right. That is incredibly wrong and incredibly abusive to deny your child treatment and go so far as to lock him away when he’s having an episode. 

**futuremspresident:** You two should not be in that household. 

**zoemonster:** We've never been touched though

**zoemonster:** The worst hes ever done to connor is throw him (like today) and he's never laid a hand on me

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor needs help, not to be treated like a fucking animal! 

**anxietyincarnate:** Zoe, is there any way you could pack an overnight bag for Connor?

**zoemonster:** Evan you cant just kidnap my brother

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m extending an invitation for him to have a prolonged sleepover at my house because your dad is fucking insane.

**anxietyincarnate:** No one should treat their child like that. 

**zoemonster:** Are you sure you can handle those types of mood swings? 

**zoemonster:** Connor’s pretty happy around you but he can get pretty fucking scary

**zoemonster:** He gets violently angry and breaks things and screams

**zoemonster:** And if he isn't angry and violent then he’s depressed and lights up his room because he has a stash of weed somewhere in there

**anxietyincarnate:** You said it yourself, he’s generally pretty happy around me. I can’t make his mental illness go away, but I’ll try my damndest to keep him happy until he’s okay to come home. 

**anxietyincarnate:** And, um. My mom knows about your situation at home. She knew the first time Connor came over. 

**zoemonster:** how???

**anxietyincarnate:** My mom is a nurse. She was the one who took care of Connor the last time he tried to kill himself. 

**zoemonster:** Oh…

**futuremspresident:** Evan, I think that you’re taking the right approach. Unfortunately, there is an issue. How will you get Connor help? You aren’t his spouse, you are not his legal guardian, and Connor isn’t eighteen yet. Your mom can't do anything about it either. 

**anxietyincarnate:** I know that I can’t really do anything (trust me, I am painfully aware) but my mom absolutely can do something. 

**futuremspresident:** And that is?

**anxietyincarnate:** She’s a nurse, she knows what's best for most of her clients. She can recommend therapy, or get a doctor to at least.. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Also, she and I both have something to say to your guys’ parents, Zoe. 

**zoemonster:** I am both impressed and concerned because youre fighting your anxiety to talk to my parents

**anxietyincarnate:** I am absolutely terrified to talk to your parents, if I’m being completely honest. 

**anxietyincarnate:** But I’m not going to sit around and watch the boy I care about suffer because of his parent’s neglect. 

**cryptidshit:** thats one hell of a thing for you to do dude

**futuremspresident:** Hmm. Well, I do suppose that could work. I wish you the best of luck. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Thanks. 

**zoemonster:** I’ll get clothes for connor. I should be able to get ahold of his phone too

**zoemonster:** I hope larry doesn’t leave con in there for too long…

**anxietyincarnate:** How long is he normally left in there? 

**zoemonster:** However long it takes for him to calm down

**futuremspresident:** Which means…? 

**zoemonster:** At least two hours. at most sixteen.

**anxietyincarnate:** What the fuck.

**cryptidshit:** thats fucked up yo

**futuremspresident:** And your mom doesn't say anything about this?!

**zoemonster:** Mom and dad are too focused on maintaining our “perfect family” image honestly

**anxietyincarnate:** Zoe

**anxietyincarnate:** Go get your brother out of there right now.

**zoemonster:** Im not sure i can without getting caught?

**anxietyincarnate:** I kind of don’t care

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m more than willing to make a random appearance at your house.

**cryptidshit:** im gonna go make sure evan doesn’t leave his house

**zoemonster:** Ill try and go get connor

**anxietyincarnate:** Good.

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m gonna go clean and take care of my plants.

**anxietyincarnate:** Anger and anxiety don’t mix well. 

**cryptidshit:** go take your meds

**anxietincarnate:** Already did. They should kick in soon. 

**cryptidshit:** good

 

_ >>> Private message:  _ **_futuremspresident_ ** _ / _ **_zoemonster_ **

 

**futuremspresident:** Zoe?

**zoemonster:** yeah?

**futuremspresident:** If you ever have problems at home, please come talk to me. 

**futuremspresident:** Scratch that, if you ever have problems PERIOD I want you to come talk to me.

**futuremspresident:** I’m concerned.

**zoemonster:** Lana, its okay

**futuremspresident:** No, it’s not! 

**futuremspresident:** Your dad locks your brother away for getting angry! Your parents force you and your brother to be this set of perfect children! It is not okay!

**zoemonster:** Its been like this forever, we know how to deal

**zoemonster:** I appreciate you and evan being concerned, but we can only do so much about it

**zoemonster:** We’re all still in high school, s’not like con and i can just fuck off

**futuremspresident:** I’m just concerned that your parents will be harsher on you when Connor goes to hide at Evan’s.

**zoemonster:** I’ll be okay. ill let you know if i ever need anything, okay?

**futuremspresident:** … Alright.

**zoemonster:** And lana? 

**futuremspresident:** Yes?

**zoemonster:** I love you

**futuremspresident:** I love you too. I’ll be here to help you as long as you need me <3.

**zoemonster:** <3

 

_ >>>Private message:  _ **_END_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> I'M BACK AND ALSO SHITS GONNA HAPPEN
> 
> \--> I have received so much love and support from all of you and I??? Oh my gosh, I love you all so much, you've all been so patient and amazing. This chapter is a little bit short, but I'm working on the others currently, and yeah. Thank you all so much for your continued support of my story!! <333
> 
> \--> Come yell at me on tumblr! @emberchii


	10. everyone is gross

**zoemonster:** Is connor holding up okay?

**anxietyincarnate:** I think so? He’s been asleep for a little while. 

**anxietyincarnate:** He cried for like an hour when he showed up, and then I held him until he fell asleep. 

**zoemonster:** Hes holding up better than expected

**zoemonster:** He looked so tired when he left the room

**cryptidshit:** the idea of murphy crying is weird

**cryptidshit:** hes got this tough-guy persona, y’know?

**zoemonster:** Connor actually cried a lot as a kid

**zoemonster:** Seriously

**zoemonster:** Its weird because i was the angry one when we were kids?

**zoemonster:** Con just hated being around people

**zoemonster:** Especially after second grade because no one would talk to him

**cryptidshit:** he threw a printer at someone, that warrants caution

**teenageangst™:** i did not

**teenageangst™:** i was helping

**teenageangst™:** and i dropped it

**zoemonster:** I thought you were asleep?

**teenageangst™:** jus woke up

**teenageangst™:** also zozo dont tell ppl that i cried as a kid

**teenageangst™:** ruins this whole image ykno?

**crtyptidshit:** i was right you do have an image to hold up

**teenageangst™:** duh?

**teenageangst™:** got that whole school shooter look going 4 me

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, stop it

**teenageangst™:** guuuuys hansen flicked me

**anxietyincarnate:** I’m not gonna let you be a pessimist about this.

**teenageangst™:** i am a pessimist

**anxietyincarnate:** >:c

**cryptidshit:** arent you two in the same room?

**teenageangst™:** ya

**zoemonster:** Oh hey con

**zoemonster:** Uh

**zoemonster:** Y’know nvm

**teenageangst™:** dude u cant just do that

**zoemonster:** Watch me

**cryptidshit:** oooh, damn

**cryptidshit:** hey ev

**cryptidshit:** im gonna bless you and murphy with my presence

**anxietyincarnate:** Alright!

**teenageangst™:** no that means i have to get off of hansen

**cryptidshit:** suck one, murphy

**cryptidshit:** parents are bein bitchy, need to be out of the house

**teenageangst™:** do all of us have parent problems

**zoemonster:** Evan doesnt? 

**anxietyincarnate:** Uh

**anxietyincarnate:** Mom and I have issues, but it just stems from her never being home. 

**anxietyincarnate:** But she and I don’t fight or anything.

**teenageangst™:** lucky u

**zoemonster:** Connor stop being salty

**teenageangst™:** tell me that u dont look @ ev and heidi and get a lil jealous

**teenageangst™:** i want heidi to be my mom

**teenageangst™:** evan im gonna marry you

**zoemonster:** Wait fuck youre right

**zoemonster:** Evan can your mom just adopt us

**anxietyincarnate:** Um???? No????

**anxietyincarnate:** She’s my mom???

**cryptidshit:** fuck you guys i called dibs

**anxietyincarnate:** She’s my mother?? Fuck off??

 

…

 

**teenageangst™:** guys im dying

**teenageangst™:** heidi is the best

**cryptidshit:** ???

**teenageangst™:** i asked her to adopt me @ dinner

**teenageangst™:** and she just said

**teenageangst™:** “marry my son and sure”

**teenageangst™:** i have never seen evan turn so red

**teenageangst™:** he choked

**cryptidshit:** _ >>>this message has been deleted _

**teenageangst™:** jared thats nasty

**cryptidshit:** well so are you so were even

**teenageangst™:** tru

**teenageangst™:** but yes

**teenageangst™:** i have heidis blessing

**anxietyincarnate:** I hate you both.

**anxietyincarnate:** I thought I was going to die, I breathed my soda and it almost went through my nose.

**teenageangst™:** luv u

**cryptidshit:** oh my GOD

**cryptidshit:** i havent gotten to see ev have something come out his nose in forever

**anxietyincarnate:** THIS IS NOT A CONVERSATION THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!!

**anxietyincarnate:** JARED SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE!!!

**teenageangst™:** even when angry hes polite

**cryptidshit:** thats our evan for you

**anxietyincarnate:** Why am I friends with you.

**cryptidshit:** because of my wonderful conversational skills and lovely face?

**anxietyincarnate:** It’s probably your nonexistent charm and the fact that we have mutual blackmail on each other.

**cryptidshit:** fucking excuse you

**cryptidshit:** i am a fucking delight

**anxietyincarnate:** No.

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor is a delight. You are a meme.

**cryptidshit:** that is the highest compliment

**cryptidshit:** memes are my religion

**anxietyincarnate:** Jared.

**cryptidshit:** yea?

**anxietyincarnate:** You’re Jewish.

**cryptidshit:** and?

**anxietyincarnate:** …

**teenageangst™:** hansens at a loss for words

**anxietyincarnate:** I repeat my statement from earlier.

**anxietyincarnate:** Why am i friends with you?

**teenageangst™:** u rnt friends w me

**teenageangst™:** ur my boyfriend dude

**anxietyincarnate:** Okay so 1.) that’s not a thing, we talked about this.

**anxietyincarnate:** And 2.) If we were boyfriends, you calling me “dude” kills the mood.

**cryptidshit:** connor

**teenageangst™:** yeah?

**cryptidshit:** next time you and evan fuck

**cryptidshit:** call him “dude”

**anxietyincarnate:** “Next time”?

**anxietyincarnate:** There hasn’t even been a first time Jared

**anxietyincarnate:** Stop being gross

**teenageangst™:** there almost was a 1st

**teenageangst™:** ;)

**anxietyincarnate:** >:c

**cryptidshit:** did you get evan to make a mess in his pants lmao

**cryptidshit:** oh my god evan went silent

**cryptidshit:** oh my god

**cryptidshit:** i fucking knew it

**teenageangst™:** he was eager

**anxietyincarnate:** Connor, I am never kissing you again.

**teenageangst™:** bABE WAIT NO

**teenageangst™:** he just shoved me off the couch and went 2 his room

**teenageangst™:** thanks for being a cockblock u ass

**cryptidshit:** just being a good friend :)

 

…

 

**zoemonster:** This is why my phone was exploding earlier?? 

**zoemonster:** @god why did you make guys such horny shitheads

**teenageangst™:** have u ever looked at evan??

**teenageangst™:** hes fuckin gorgeous

**zoemonster:** yes i have but youre like

**zoemonster:** You dont have to TALK ABOUT IT

**teenageangst™:** yes i do

**teenageangst™:** it scars u 4ever

**teenageangst™:** and ur reactions r rly funny

**zoemonster:** I hate you so much

**teenageangst™:** lol

**teenageangst™:** ohp evan is coming bye

**zoemonster:** Go snog your boyfriend

**teenageangst™:** thats the plan ;)

**zoemonster:** Oh btw Larry is pissed so I’m gonna

**zoemonster:** Idfk i’ll go get coffee or something

**cryptidshit:** can i tag along

**cryptidshit:** i dont rly wanna be at evs house or mine rn lmao

**zoemonster:** Sure? 

**zoemonster:** Yknow that doofy little cafe downtown

**cryptidshit:** the one that always has rly baller halloween decorations?

**zoemonster:** Yup

**cryptidshit:** dude be there in ten i love that place

 

…

 

**cryptidshit:** hey alana lives on junction ave right

**zoemonster:** Yeah, why? 

**cryptidshit:** whats her house number

**zoemonster:** 927?

**zoemonster:** Jared?

**zoemonster:** Jared??

**cryptidshit:** so imma have to cancel our coffee getout

**zoemonster:** ???

 

…

 

**cryptidshit:** sorry i had to check something out

**cryptidshit:** but uh

**cryptidshit:** very bad news

**cryptidshit:** theres an ambulance in alanas driveway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> So I'm blaming me discord chat for this coming out so late, I'm sorry about that!! This chapter gave me tons of trouble bc next chapter is gonna be a Wild Ride and I just..... didn't wanna write this one.
> 
> \--> You guys are so supportive?? ily all so much??? Seriously you guys have given me so much support I love you all <333
> 
> \--> Come yell at me on tumblr! @emberchii


	11. support systems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> tw: eating disorders!! just a heads up guys!!!

**anxietyincarnate:** There are perks to your mother working in the hospital, I’ve decided.

**cryptidshit:** mind telling us what those perks are?

**anxietyincarnate:** Alana is going to be fine. She’ll be in the hospital for a little while, but she’s going to be fine. 

**anxietyincarnate:** Mom managed to get word of her condition.

**zoemonster:** God damn it, why do you have knowledge of how shes doing before me

**anxietyincarnate:** Same reason as stated above.

**anxietyincarnate:** Are you and Connor still in the waiting room?

**zoemonster:** Yeah

**zoemonster:** Connor is asleep right now

**zoemonster:** Dont blame him since hes been worried out of his MIND

**anxietyincarnate:** Well, so have you. The two of you can rest while you wait.

**zoemonster:** Evan are you fucking insane

**zoemonster:** Im not sleeping until I see with my own two eyes that my girlfriend is okay

**cryptidshit:** thats dedication

**cryptidshit:** though i get that

**zoemonster:** Normally id ask but i dont really care right now

**zoemonster:** Evan what else did your mom say

**anxietyincarnate:** She’s in stable condition at least? 

**anxietyincarnate:** I just know that she isn’t going to die, they haven’t figured out many details past that. 

**zoemonster:** Stupid fucking doctors

**anxietyincarnate:** Those “stupid fucking doctors” are probably saving Alana’s life.

**anxietyincarnate:** Are you okay?

**zoemonster:** No

**zoemonster:** Im worried out of my fucking mind evan

**zoemonster:** She was just fine the last time we saw her?? And we dont even know why shes in the hospital in the first place?? 

**zoemonster:** Im gonna go nuts if I dont get to see her soon

**zoemonster:** fuck thats her family coming bye

 

…

 

**teenageangst™:** zoe is crying

**teenageangst™:** alana is crying

**teenageangst™:** wtf do i do in this situation??

**anxietyincarnate:** Alana is awake?

**cryptidshit:** fuck man is alana ok

**teenageangst™:** ok is a relative term

**anxietyincarnate:** How is she doing? 

**teenageangst™:** shes awake and breathing and functioning

**teenageangst™:** she cant keep down food tho

**teenageangst™:** apparently she collapsed

**teenageangst™:** doctors say they think they kno what happened but wont tell us

**teenageangst™:** fuckin annoying

**cryptidshit:** keep us posted

**teenageangst™:** k

 

…

 

**futuremspresident:** Your mother is a very nice woman, Evan.

**anxietyincarnate:** ALANA!!!

**anxietyincarnate:** Wait, what? Did mom come to see you?

**futuremspresident:** She’s the one in charge of feeding me right now, yes.

**cryptidshit:** what happened? 

**cryptidshit:** do the murphys know what happened???

**teenageangst™:** no

**teenageangst™:** docs wouldnt tell us

**teenageangst™:** i took zoe home after she and alana cried on each other

**futuremspresident:** I collapsed. 

**futuremspresident:** According to what the doctors told me, it was a combination of physical exhaustion and exertion combined with malnutrition. 

**cryptidshit:** have you not been eating??

**zoemonster:** Alana

**zoemonster:** Ive seen what your family feeds you

**futuremspresident:** Bulimia. 

**teenageangst™:** ?

**futuremspresident:** I have/have been dealing with bulimia. I wouldn’t eat anything until my family made me, and then I’d throw it back up. 

**zoemonster:** Alana!!!! 

**futuremspresident:** I’m sorry that I worried all of you!

**teenageangst™:** self image thing?

**futuremspresident:** Excuse me?

**teenageangst™:** was it a self image thing

**futuremspresident:** …

**futuremspresident:** Sort of.

**futuremspresident:** It was more of a punishment for myself?

**zoemonster:** Lana….

**futuremspresident:** If i didn’t feel like I was doing what I should, I didn’t eat. 

**futuremspresident:** That’s where the overworking came from.

**anxietyincarnate:** You know you’re one of the best people I know? 

**futuremspresident:** Um? What brought this on?

**anxietyincarnate:** “ If i didn’t feel like I was doing what I should, I didn’t eat”

**anxietyincarnate:** You already work yourself to the bone. You’re amazing, Alana.

**anxietyincarnate:** In fact, you do too much and you’re too hard on yourself.

**anxietyincarnate:** Let us take some of the weight, won’t you? 

**futuremspresident:** I don’t think I could do that, my workload is insane as it is. I couldn’t do that to you.

**cryptidshit:** alana

**cryptidshit:** shut the fuck up

**cryptidshit:** youre our friend

**cryptidshit:** you dont have to do everything alone, okay?

**futuremspresident:** I

**futuremspresident:** Okay.

**futuremspresident:** Thank you.

**zoemonster:** We’re here for you. 

**zoemonster:** We love you, lana

**teenageangst™:** love ya lana

**anxietyincarnate:** You’re an awesome friend, Alana! We love you!! <3

**cryptidshit:** youre gonna rule the world one day just ebcause youre you. No extra work needed

**cryptidshit:** youre great

**futuremspresident:** …

**futuremspresident:** Thank you.

**futuremspresident:** Thank you, thank you, thank you

**zoemonster:** <3

 

…

 

_ >>>Private message;  _ **_teenageangst™_ ** _ / _ **_futuremspresident_ ** _ : _

 

**teenageangst™:** r u ok?

**futuremspresident:** I’ll be fine, Connor.

**teenageangst™:** mentally

**teenageangst™:** ur in a hospital

**teenageangst™:** theyre not gonna let u die

**teenageangst™:** r u ok mentally

**futuremspresident:** I’m fine, I promise!

**teenageangst™:** alana

**teenageangst™:** r u lying

**futuremspresident:** Alright, maybe I’m not okay.

**futuremspresident:** There’s just been this little voice telling me I’m not good enough.

**futuremspresident:** And nothing I do makes it go away. I will never be good enough for that voice inside my head.

**teenageangst™:** r u good enough 4 u

**futuremspresident:** What does that mean? 

**teenageangst™:** do u like urself

**teenageangst™:** as a person

**futuremspresident:** … Yes, for the most part.

**teenageangst™:** r u happy w/ ur grades

**futuremspresident:** They’re not as good as i’d like them to be…

**teenageangst™:** is it bcaus uv been overworking urself?

**futuremspresident:** …

**teenageangst™:** do u think ur good enough for zoe

**futuremspresident:** … Not with the mindset I have right now.

**teenageangst™:** r u happy being friends w/ us?

**futuremspresident:** Yes. Absolutely. 

**teenageangst™:** and were all happy bein ur friend

**teenageangst™:** ur amazing

**teenageangst™:** that little voice in your head can fuck off

**teenageangst™:** and i get it

**teenageangst™:** its not that easy

**teenageangst™:** but were here 4 u

**teenageangst™:** and if u need anything

**teenageangst™:** dont hesitate to ask? 

**teenageangst™:** if u wanna b a better person, well help

**teenageangst™:** but uv gotta tell us if theres somethin wrong so we can help

**teenageangst™:** ok?

**futuremspresident:** … Connor?

**futuremspresident:** Thank you. 

**futuremspresident:** Thank you so much. 

**futuremspresident:** You have no idea how much that means to me.

**futuremspresident:** Thank you.

**teenageangst™:** ofc

**teenageangst™:** ur great

**teenageangst™:** ur my friend

**teenageangst™:** and u make my sister rly happy

**teenageangst™:** thank u for bein a good friend

**teenageangst™:** make sure u eat, ok? at least drink water

**futuremspresident:** You sound like Evan.

**teenageangst™:** hes rubbin off on me

**teenageangst™** : its weird

**teenageangst™:** zo and jared r gonna visit tomorrow

**teenageangst™:** zo ev an i will visit the day after

**teenageangst™:** hmu when ur out, ok?

**futuremspresident:** I will. 

**futuremspresident:** Promise.

**teenageangst™:** good

**teenageangst™:** night

**futuremspresident:** Goodnight, Connor.

**futuremspresident:** And thank you, again.

**teenageangst™:** np

 

_ >>> Private message;  _ **_END_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> I cant believe this thing is only 11 chapters, it feels so much bigger than that lmao
> 
> \--> You guys?? Are so great??? I'm a little insulted that all of you thought I killed Alana, _really_. I fucking love Alana. 
> 
> \--> Come talk to me on tumblr! @emberchii


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